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  1. #1 Questions, So Many Questions 
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    FT Belvoir, VA
    Dave Burge (AKA Iowahawk, submitted the following questions to Obama for his Twitter town hall. I wonder what the reactions were among Obama's staff. Funny stuff.

    President Obama graciously offered to take questions submitted via Twitter today, courtesy the #AskObama hashtag. Being an inquisitive sort, I decided to submit a few that have been nagging me (I am on Twitter, by the way). Although he declined to answer any, I thought I'd warehouse them here in case he ever gets around to them:

    • An $8 billion high speed train leaves Chicago for Iowa City at 8:15am at 40mph. Why?
    • If shovel-ready projects create jobs, wouldn't spoon-ready projects create even more jobs?
    • How come you haven't made unemployment illegal? #duh
    • Instead of making cars get 62 mpg, why not 62 million mpg? Also, do something about the gravitational constant.
    • Don't you just hate going through those TSA lines? And hey, what about that airline food?
    • Serious question: what's the biggest hardship you've ever dealt with in your life?
    • Have you ever had a menial job, changed your own oil, or fixed a toilet?
    • Subtract Malia's age from the number of states. Multiply the result by the number of jobs saved or created.
    • Math wasn't your strong suit, was it?
    • I let my Mexican drug lord license expire. Am I still eligible for the free machine gun program?
    • When you're visiting his volcano lair, does George Soros let you feed the laser sharks?
    • The staffer who suggested this Twitter Town Hall is fired, isn't he?
    • Are you smart enough to create a problem so big that even you could not solve it?
    • Why isn't your cabinet unionized?
    • If Joe Biden has a massive stroke, (a) do you have a replacement in mind, and (b) how would you tell?
    • Is there any job you'd be better at than president?
    • If you ever had a yard sale, how much would you ask for those styrofoam Greek columns?
    • When you said "days not weeks" did you mean Venusian days?
    • I understand you finally quit smoking. Do they make a patch for spending addicts too?
    • Is this question racist?
    • Why do you need permission to be clear, and not need permission to bomb Libya?
    • Are you in favor of gay marriage for Libyan bombing crews on Boeing planes made in South Carolina?
    • Would you get tougher with Iran if you knew they were working with Scott Walker?
    • On behalf of the entire US population: dude, WTF?
    • Let's say instead of winning the future, we end up in a tie. Do we then go to sudden death overtime?
    • When your economic advisors hold policy meetings, do they stuff a towel at the bottom of the door?
    • If we reneg on the debt, where's the best place to hide our stuff from the repo men?
    • I just voted to increase my sobriety ceiling. Why won't the bartender give me another drink?
    • I really need to start living within my means. Do you recommend I start holding up banks or convenience stores?
    • If ATMs are so bad, why do you keep treating me like one?
    • Whose spending created your job?
    • When you create jobs, why do always create them for Texas?
    • Are strawmen cheaper when you buy them by the gross?
    • How much CO2 is created by a burning straw man?
    • Who are these "those who say"?
    • This whole Twitter Town Hall thing is turning out to be another amateur disaster, isn't it?
    • Is this a Town Hall or a Potemkin Village Hall?
    • If Eric Holder gets indicted in Operation Fast & Furious, should he get a civilian trial?
    • If we eat the rich, what do we get for dessert?
    • if punishing employers results in more employment, can you also punish beer makers?
    • Psst... got any spare tix for the 2016 Chicago Olympics?
    • Since you've doubled the number of wars, shouldn't you be getting another Nobel Peace Prize?
    • How much do I owe you for all the material?
    • Does it bother you that your Twitter stunt worked out better for me than you?
    • Will you be my 10,000th follower?

    Okay, end of the 140-character tomfoolery. More of the old school Iowahawk stuff coming soon.
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  2. #2  
    Best Bounty Hunter in the Forums fettpett's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Southwest Michigan (in Exile)
    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    [*]When you're visiting his volcano lair, does George Soros let you feed the laser sharks?
    Blizzard even made a model for him

    "Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings..." Patrick Henry
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