You have my vote, Jonathon Sharkey

[the director]

I am officially announcing my support for Jonathan Sharkey, candidate from Florida. If you do not know Mr. Sharkey, here is his wikipedia page.

I will draw your attention to these top ten significant talking points and highlights:

1. He is a family man:

Sharkey claims that he first drank blood at age five and now consumes the blood of his girlfriends and mistresses twice a week. He has described his vampirism as "a very healthy thing to do" and has praised Hollywood for making vampire feeding practices "romantic and erotic".

2. For the anti-gay conservative:

He does not drink men's blood, only women's because "women are beautiful...they have such beautiful necks and arms".

3. He can pull votes from all corners of society:

He has run both as a Republican and on the ticket of his own Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party.

4. Firm defender of the Freedom of Religion:

Sharkey has criticized Mitt Romney for downplaying his own religious beliefs, saying "I'm not ashamed of my beliefs. Why should he?"

5. He is tough on crime:

He has described his policy on crime as follows: "Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled....Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I'll beat them, torture them, dismember them and decapitate them."

6. And he will continue the war on drugs:

... said his policy for dealing with drug dealers is to "go to Sicilian families and have them attack the drug dealers for me".

7. For the pro-gay conservative:

.. he supports equal rights for gays.

8. He will probably pull some liberal votes with this:

He opposes President Obama's health care reform and would replace it with a plan of his own in which the poor would receive free medical and dental care; the expenses would be paid with government taxes on marijuana and prostitution, which Sharkey supports legalizing and regulating. On foreign policy, he wishes to bring American troops home from foreign war zones.

9. But will also pull some rightwing Christian votes:

Sharkey says that he will ban abortion and the teaching of evolution in public schools.

10. And finally, he truly understands our founding fathers and what they stood for:

He compares Lucifer to the Founding Fathers of the United States, arguing that they both exemplify the idea of rebellion against tyranny.

Godspeed, Mr. Sharkey, godspeed.

[lacarnut]

I am officially announcing my support for Jonathan Sharkey, candidate from Florida. .

He is a nut and screwball like you.

[the director]

He is a nut and screwball like you.

No more or less than Michele Bachmann.

[lacarnut]

No more or less than Michele Bachmann.

Your boy, Obummer, is going to get trounced in 012. Anyone the Repubs put up will beat him.

[the director]

Your boy, Obummer, is going to get trounced in 012. Anyone the Repubs put up will beat him.

I'm going to be honest, that made me laugh. You do realize this is satire? Well, besides my comment about Michele, that woman scares the hell out of me.

[Apocalypse]

The only reason he is running is to promote his heavy (Death) metal music. Linking to his web site for his campaign is filled with it.

GO back to DU and bow to the greatness of the 0bama

[fettpett]

oh good grief it's a joke post

[the director]

oh good grief it's a joke post

I swear half the people here don't have a sense of humor. Too much doom and gloom from Beck and Spencer I guess.

[lacarnut]

Well, besides my comment about Michele, that woman scares the hell out of me.

The First Wookie is scary. No class and uglier than homemade sin.

[Rockntractor]

I am officially announcing my support for Jonathan Sharkey, candidate from Florida. If you do not know Mr. Sharkey, here is his wikipedia page.

I will draw your attention to these top ten significant talking points and highlights:

1. He is a family man:


2. For the anti-gay conservative:


3. He can pull votes from all corners of society:


4. Firm defender of the Freedom of Religion:


5. He is tough on crime:


6. And he will continue the war on drugs:


7. For the pro-gay conservative:


8. He will probably pull some liberal votes with this:


9. But will also pull some rightwing Christian votes:


10. And finally, he truly understands our founding fathers and what they stood for:


Godspeed, Mr. Sharkey, godspeed.

Is he a land Sharkey?