Thread: I Hate My Job!

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  1. #1 I Hate My Job! 
    Senior Member malloc's Avatar
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    My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

    Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

    **********

    This isn't mine. I wish I knew who to credit for it, because it's damn funny, but it's been across the internet and back and I'm not sure where it started out.
    "In England a king hath little more to do than to make war and give away places; which in plain terms, is to impoverish the nation and set it together by the ears. A pretty business indeed for a man to be allowed eight hundred thousand sterling a year for, and worshipped into the bargain! Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived."
    —Thomas Paine, Common Sense
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  2. #2  
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    Is there a talking dog working there too?
    Onward Thru the Fog
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  3. #3  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Rut roh...
    May the FORCE be with you!
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  4. #4  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    Now that there is funneh I don care who you are.
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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  5. #5  
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    That had me in tears.
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member malloc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lacarnut View Post
    That had me in tears.
    Had the exact same effect on me the first I read it. I hadn't laughed that hard since I first saw the "How is babby formed?" caveman animation.
    "In England a king hath little more to do than to make war and give away places; which in plain terms, is to impoverish the nation and set it together by the ears. A pretty business indeed for a man to be allowed eight hundred thousand sterling a year for, and worshipped into the bargain! Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived."
    —Thomas Paine, Common Sense
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  7. #7  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Scoobie Doo gave me nightmares as a kid :(
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  8. #8  
    Senior Member malloc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    Scoobie Doo gave me nightmares as a kid :(
    How on earth did that happen? I loved Scooby Doo. I think there was a brief period of time I wanted to solve mysteries. Then I found out that old people didn't really dress up like monsters to scare everyone off real-estate they wanted to cheaply purchase, and leave clues in the process. I thought that fact was pretty lame.
    "In England a king hath little more to do than to make war and give away places; which in plain terms, is to impoverish the nation and set it together by the ears. A pretty business indeed for a man to be allowed eight hundred thousand sterling a year for, and worshipped into the bargain! Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived."
    —Thomas Paine, Common Sense
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  9. #9  
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    That was funny
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