The state of Ohio is selling one of its state prisons. To a private company. For money. Goodbye, prisoners incarcerated by the state of Ohio. Hello, money!.....Actually the state wanted to sell five prisons, but it only got a good bid for one of them. Still: fabulous!

But "it's not a disappointment at all," [Annette Chambers-Smith, deputy director of administration at the corrections department] later added, noting that the department met its fiscal obligation. "It's fabulous because we thought we would need to sell all five of them to net $50 million. In fact, we got a price of $72.7 million on only one property.........Fabulous!

The only fiscally responsible move now is for Ohio to sentence more and more and more people to prison, thereby increasing the number of prisoners and prisons, and then sell those prisons off to private corporations who can house prisoners for incredibly low amounts of money while maintaining super high standards of care and compassion and humanity, and no, you're not allowed to check that fact.

This plan is already proven to work! Then the private corporations can bid out these prisoners' labor at rock-bottom fees, stealing jobs from the private sector. Everybody wins: private prison corporations, private prison corporation shareholders, and the Prince of Darkness. (*Counts on fingers*) Yep, everybody.