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  1. #1 Attention Walmart Shopper! LOL 
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    OK, now this is funny. I suppose the Wal Mart hating liberals will claim it is true though-after they claim the couple are Republicans.:eek::D

    Joanne98 (1000+ posts) Wed Sep-10-08 06:10 PM
    Original message
    Attention Walmart Shopper! LOL
    After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany
    her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men–he
    found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate,
    Mrs. Fenton was like most women–she loved to browse.

    One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

    Dear Mrs. Fenton;

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our
    store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you
    from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are
    documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts
    when they weren’t looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3
    in House wares - get on it right away.’

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on

    6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted Area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
    he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
    screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror
    while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the
    clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
    ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna Look’ by using
    different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
    fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

    And last, but not least,

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, and
    then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’

    Regards, Wal-Mart

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  2. #2  
    Senior Member Ree's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    That is so old...I remember readin it in 99
    Say what ya mean and get to the point quick....I don't have the attention span to listen to bullshit...

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  3. #3  
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, and
    then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’
    That's not even funny. I worked at a store in town when I was in high school and some idiot DID use one of the dressing rooms as a toilet. Thankfully it was only #1.
    "I was... ordered to drop my pants, bend over and spread my cheeks."
    --RagingInMiami achieving the DUmp's highest level of nirvana
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