A disclaimer from Meredith: When this letter arrived in my Love Letters InBox, it was too risquť to post on Boston.com (weíre a family website, after all). But because I believe the readerís question is valid and worthy of our discussion, Iíve decided to post it -- with all of the writer's R-rated phrases replaced by my G-rated euphemisms. I'm asking that you use my euphemisms in your comments so I can post them. I love a good euphemism, donít you?
Q: I am a 30 Year old male. I have been dating a wonderful woman for 2.5 years. I would describe everything about her as perfect except for one thing. She absolutely refuses to [make me a grilled cheese sandwich]. Now I want to ask her to marry me, but the thought of going the rest of my life without receiving [grilled cheese sandwiches] is definitely a worry. I fear I may resent her eventually, or possibly feel the need to seek [grilled cheese sandwiches] out somewhere else when enough time has passed. It has already been 2.5+ years since I last experienced a [grilled cheese sandwich]. It is starting to consume my thoughts. I don't know if this one thing is enough to be a deal-breaker. Everything else is perfect. I don't know what to do!
-- [Needing Grilled Cheese], Boston
A: NGC, have you talked to this woman about why sheís so opposed to grilled cheese? Do her reasons seem valid and specific (past trauma, health issues, etc.)? Is there any room for negotiation? Has she always been opposed to grilled cheese or is it just specific to you?
You must tell her that the lack of grilled cheese is standing in the way of your commitment. I know itís difficult to say Ė it sounds so petty and selfish -- but Iím here to tell you itís a valid concern. Youíve probably heard this before, but disagreements about sex and money are usually what end relationships. If youíre resenting her now, fast forward 10 years. It will get worse.
Grilled cheese sandwiches are awesome. Especially with tomatoes and fancy cheese, like Brie. But some people would rather eat them than make them. And some people are allergic to them and canít go near them. ...