I saw my cousin's daughter has a boyfriend. I looked at his facebook page.

He's a jackass. A fat, miserable jackass who is gonna undo all her hard work in the gym.

My cousin is a 6'4" man mountain with about 6 years in the US Army in him. He is armed most times and a DAMN good shot. :)

I see my cousin online:

Me: Is it bad for me to have looked at [your child's] boyfriend's page just to make sure he's cool?

Him: He's a jackass.

Me:I thought so. Want me to come up and be spotter to your sniper?

Him: That's OK. She will have to learn on her own.

Me:Lol. [my oldest brother]'s closer and he'll be a better spotter anyhow.

Him: Tee Hee (yeah, he says that instead of LOL.)

I know him well enough. He'll probably call my brother and they'll get matching ghilley suits and everything.

Christ, I'm old.