Let us consider a few case studies. A mere fortnight ago, most of these victims were clearly demented, but still able to function, at least among their own kind, the trust-funded idle rich.
First case: “Matt D.”
One day, Matt D. was just another liberal puke making lousy movies. The next, he had lost his mind, thanks to PDS. He made a videotape in which he impersonated an actuary, used the word “absurd” about 30 times, and then asked “if she thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago”.
Remember, Matt D. believes that by buying “carbon credits,” he can personally stop the oceans from rising. Is this a guy who should be worried about somebody else’s wacky beliefs? Prognosis: Incurable.
Second case: “Carol F.”
No one had ever heard of this obscure Southern moonbat until Wednesday, when she suddenly blurted out that Sarah Palin’s “primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.”
Later she apologized for her “clumsy” statement. What Carol F. really meant to say was that she hates Palin because she hasn’t had an abortion. Prognosis: Put her on suicide watch until 1-20-09
Third case: "Joe B"
Normally considered nothing more than a plagiarizing blowhard, Joe B. was struck down with a particularly nasty strain of PDS - an overpowering depression and paranoia about his own worthlessness. Never one to speak succinctly, Joe B. suddenly became an even bigger windbag. Listen to this endless torrent of words in Nashua, N.H.:
“Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Let’s get that straight. She’s a truly close personal friend; she is qualified to be president of the United States of America. She’s easily qualified to be vice president of the United States of America and, quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me, but she is first-rate.”
Prognosis: Verbal diarrhea poses no immediate danger to himself, but his audiences are increasingly falling into comas or trances.
Fourth case: “Barry O.”
Since first glimpsing Sarah, Barry O. has been unable to speak coherently, has talked of “wrecking havoc” and brought up his “Muslim faith” on national TV. Finally, in the grips of full-blown PDS, Barry slurred Sarah as a pig, and then claimed that he, not Sarah, was a victim - admittedly, his perennial fallback position, which has never failed him before.
Prognosis: Grave. Drs. Al Gore and John Kerry have been called to his bedside