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  1. #1 Your parrot is dead, senor! 
    Administrator SaintLouieWoman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'

    'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'

    'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'

    'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'

    'Si, Senor, that's the one.'

    'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'

    'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'

    'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'

    'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'

    'Dead horse? What dead horse?'

    'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'

    'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'

    'Si Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'

    'Are you insane? ? What water cart?'

    'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'

    'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'

    'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'

    'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!'

    'Si, Senor Rod.'

    'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?'

    'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'


    'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylor-Made R580 golf club.'

    SILENCE . . . . . .. . . LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . .

    'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!!'

    " To the world you are just one more person, but to a rescued pet, you are the world."

    A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!"

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  2. #2  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Good thing it wasn't the putter!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  3. #3  
    Bad! But having dated a pro golfer in my youth, those priorities don't surprise me one bit!

    “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
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