Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1 On a flight out of IAH 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    4,718
    A 50-something year old Muslim man arrived at his seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat.
    The seat was next to an elderly white woman reading her Bible.

    Disgusted ... the Muslim man immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat.
    The man said ... "I cannot sit here next to this infidel."
    The flight attendant said ... "Let me see if I can find another seat."

    After checking ... the flight attendant returned and stated ...
    "There are no more seats in economy ... but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class."

    About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated ...
    "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy ... but there is one in first class.
    It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class ... but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person ... the captain agreed to make the switch to first class."

    Before the irate Muslim man could say anything ... the attendant gestured to the elderly woman and said ...
    "Therefore ma’am ... if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items ...
    we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person."

    Passengers in the seats nearby began to applaud while some gave a standing ovation.

    You just got to love Texas.

    Last edited by Retread; 04-06-2012 at 03:48 PM.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  2. #2  
    Senior Member Arroyo_Doble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ft Worth
    Posts
    3,788
    When I heard the joke, it went like this:


    On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African Lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.

    "What seems to be the problem Madam?" asked the attendant.

    "Can't you see?" she said " You've sat me next to a kaffir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"

    "Please calm down Madam." the stewardess relied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do-I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class." The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self satisfied grin: "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class." Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues ... "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person." With which, she turned to the black man sitting next to the woman, and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..." At which point, apparently the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the black guy walks up to the front of the plane.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  3. #3  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    4,718
    Why am I not surprized?.................
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #4  
    Senior Member Arroyo_Doble's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ft Worth
    Posts
    3,788
    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    Why am I not surprized?.................
    Because jokes are often recycled? Democrats become Republicans, Aggies turn into Poles, white bread replaces rye. It is life.

    I think my version of the joke started in 1998.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #5  
    Senior Member Zathras's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    San Jose, California
    Posts
    6,247
    Well, since we're posting airline jokes, here are a couple of my favorites....

    A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

    Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

    Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

    Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why
    must I speak English?"

    Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you
    lost the bloody war."
    The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

    Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

    Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

    The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

    Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

    Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

    Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):

    "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

    Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land."
    Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #6  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    4,718
    Quote Originally Posted by Arroyo_Doble View Post
    Because jokes are often recycled?

    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
    Reply With Quote  
     

Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •