Thread: Best Obituary. Ever!

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  1. #1 Best Obituary. Ever! 
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    Sadly, it was the end of the world for Mr. Michael "Flathead" Blanchard.

    Best. Obituary. Ever!

    Blanchard, Michael "Flathead"
    1944 ~ 2012
    A Celebration of the life of Michael "Flathead" Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.
    Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.
    Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.
    I will be raising a toast to Mr. Blanchard tonight!
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member enslaved1's Avatar
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    Darn, I was expecting some old school death metal.

    Romans 6:18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

    Differences between Obama and God: God's plan to save us is actually written down for people to read. Rush Limbaugh.

    My blog: How Things Look From Here Politics, religion, random stuff, now on Wednesdays!
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  3. #3  
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    Charlie Martin, of the Daily Caller, gives a report of the memorial service.

    “What’s in the vial?”

    “Nitroglycerin.”

    According to lifelong friend Ron Remy, those were the first words he heard from Mike Blanchard when they met during high school.

    “I was coming up the walk to his parents’ house when he came out, carrying a small vial, very carefully. He said it was nitroglycerin. He’d just cooked it up in his parents’ kitchen. We put it on a fence post and Mike shot it with a pellet gun, and it blew out a whole section of fence,” Remy said. “We all have these fantasies — but Mike would go out and just do it. I spent a year in Viet Nam, and some of the moments of stark terror I had with Mike eclipsed anything I saw there.”


    .....
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  4. #4  
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    Mr. Blanchard's "son" Chopper, was his cat....
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