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  1. #11  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    This kind of give a new meaning to "Breaking Bad".
    "Our president delivered his State of the Union message to Congress. That is one of the things his contract calls for -- to tell congress the condition of the country. This message, as I say, is to Congress. The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the president has to tell 'em." ~ Will Rogers
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  2. #12  
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    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  3. #13  
    Super Moderator bijou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda22003 View Post
    That reminds me of the old joke ...

    A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
    The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog
    on the examination table.
    The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells
    the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.
    The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a
    second opinion.
    The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the
    cat down next to the dog's body.
    The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing
    the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
    The vet looks at the man and says,
    "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."
    The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
    So, the vet brings in a black Labrador.
    The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at
    the vet and barks.
    The vet looks at the man and says,
    "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
    The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks
    how much he owes.
    The vet answers, "$650."
    "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
    "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my
    initial diagnosis.
    The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
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  4. #14  
    CU Royalty JB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bijou View Post
    The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.
    That's absolutely terrible.

    Don't get me wrong though, I will tell this joke.
    Be Not Afraid.
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