The men say they told grave-shift workers at a McDonald's in Murfreesboro, Tenn., to hold the onions on their cheeseburgers, Nashville's WTVF-TV reports. But when they discovered the offensive onions hiding under their buns, they went back to the drive-thru to demand satisfaction.
The McDonald's manager, however, wasn't lovin' it.
"We got cussed out and told to get the 'F' out of their line," McDonald's rampage suspect Chris Slate, 21, told WTVF.
That made for an even unhappier meal, as Slate and his friend Sean Mosey, 23, went home and buried their anger in alcohol. "We were ticked. I mean, ticked is an understatement," Slate said. "We hung out and drank more, and everything went down."
The pair's plan for revenge involved taking off their shirts to cover their faces, and removing the license plate from Slate's car to cover their tracks.
Slate then hurled a brick through the McDonald's front window, while Mosey threw a chunk of concrete at the drive-thru, police said. Two workers inside were hurt.
But as the anti-onion activists ran back to their getaway car, tragedy struck: Mosey stumbled and fell, and Slate couldn't get him back up. So Slate drove home and left his friend to crawl away on his own.
Police found Mosey on all fours near some shrubbery, WTVF reports. Because he couldn't walk straight and had slurred speech, police arrested him for public intoxication.
Cops also caught up with Slate. The two cheeseburger buddies are facing charges of vandalism and felony reckless endangerment.
Based on their own accounts, the pair could also face possible charges of conspiracy for plotting to commit an unlawful act and taking action toward its completion.
But perhaps prosecutors won't super-size the charges against the drunken McDonald's rampage suspects, who grimaced and apologized for their actions on local TV. Slate also vowed to enter an alcohol-treatment program, WTVF reports.
I know the feeling, what part of hold the onions don't they understand!