Does your Christianity make you feel Lonely?

[wannaberocker]

Background info

So my work sent me on a month long training trip, along with 18 other people from different branches. A few of the people I knew and a few I meet for the first time. I’m in my mid 20s and have tried to be a practicing bible believing Christian since I was around 20 or 21.


Anyways, so as I hung out with the same people everyday for a month. I felt very lonely, even though I was surrounded by people. I sort of felt like my Christian life did not match how they lived their lives. Every night, we all would go out and they would all drink. I don’t drink so I’d be the driver. The groups fun would revolve around flirting with each other (BTW almost everyone in the group is married apart from me and a few others), drinking and making sexual jokes. This was an every night thing and I simply didn’t fit into the whole picture. I could stay in my hotel room and not go out with them, but I didn’t want to close myself out from people.
The whole month and situation made me feel incredibly lonely as a Christian. I felt that my beliefs dictated my actions, but my actions disconnected me from the group.


I remember an incident when this girl who was in training with me. She was fairly attractive and single and the married guys in my training would flirt with her all the time and she would flirt back. Now Im single and one day she started asking me about why I was always quiet and didn’t drink or party with them to much. I shared that I was a Christian and that is why I tried to stay away from drinking and the sexual talk. After that point that girl pretty much started to treat me like, I was the “Gay” friend. In other words I turned into a completely non sexual entity for that girl. That annoyed me a bit and sort of made me feel even more isolated because of my beliefs.


I know that as Christians we are not like the world we live in. Yet, the isolation kills me at times. If there are any Christian folks on here with some words to share please do. Everyone is welcome to reply btw not just fellow Christians lol.

[Rockntractor]

You did right, you're going to have times like that now and then, sort of being tempted in the desert 40 days.
Next time find a local church for a break on the weekends, it doesn't matter what denomination.

[Gina]

I Corinthians 5:9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.

12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person."

It can be discouraging to see others living life like there are no consequences, but anyone who reads the Word and believes it, knows that is not true. I feel sad and worry for people's eternal soul when they live like there's no tomorrow but we are responsible to live as an example of Christ's love and pray for people but ultimately it's up to Him to call them to Himself.

I sort of felt like my Christian life did not match how they lived their lives.

That's a good thing! We are all sinners but a Christian makes an effort not to sin. We still DO but we are convicted by the Holy Spirit when we do. That is a gift from God.

The whole month and situation made me feel incredibly lonely as a Christian. I felt that my beliefs dictated my actions, but my actions disconnected me from the group.

If your beliefs are in line with the Bible, then they SHOULD dictate your actions. Naturally it disconnects you from a group of people who don't share your beliefs.

2 Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

As Christians, Christ is our husband and just because we FEEL lonely doesn't mean He isn't with us every step of the way. Pray that your feelings will be in line with that reality.

In other words I turned into a completely non sexual entity for that girl. That annoyed me a bit and sort of made me feel even more isolated because of my beliefs.

Well, yah. You said you're a Bible believing Christian. Then you know that sex is reserved for marriage. The flesh will make you feel the way you described but again, isolation isn't really what it is.

I know that as Christians we are not like the world we live in. Yet, the isolation kills me at times.

It's being in the world but not of the world. Feelings sometimes lie! Don't be discouraged. Christ was tempted with everything we are tempted with, we can go to Him and be made whole. Being 'in Christ' is the goal.

I hope I helped. God probably used you as an example to some of the people you were with. Rejoice that the way you conducted yourself is a good reflection on your love for God and may influence someone to seek Him.

[Janice]

I accepted long ago, I should either go the way of the world or go the way of the Word. And if I decided to retain christian values then the world would on some level shun me. I could vie to be popular and well liked for typical worldly values, or I could be more circumspect and be more concerned about about my soul and eternity. In my view as scripture says: 'For what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?'

So at some point I had to make a choice. And so it is a bit lonelier to be on the lords side sometimes. But as is says: 'Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.' Today salt is almost universally accessible, and relatively cheap. However, years ago salt was difficult to obtain, and so it was a highly valued trade item. Until the 20th century, salt was one of the prime movers of national economies and wars. In the Middle Ages, salt was known as 'White Gold.' In the first century CE, Roman soldiers of the time were paid a salarium, the basis of our modern word salary. Salarium is Latin for salt.

The Bible contains numerous references to salt. In various contexts, it is used metaphorically to signify permanence, loyalty, durability, fidelity, usefulness, value, and purification. It was also used as a component of ceremonial offerings, and as a unit of exchange. Ye are the salt of the earth. Salt also preserves from corruption.

The natural order of things is for mankind to become more and more corrupt. And the more we as a society allow ourselves to become corrupted, the more we will debase ourselves. This is why we have the Word. And the Law. There are morals and values and teachings based on these things. But base human desires are always at war with what is true and right and moral and just. This is where we can make a difference. But.. the price is ... we sometimes have to stand alone. Or apart from our fellow travelers. And this is the choice. Are we willing to 'sell our birthright' for a mess of pottage? That is do we settle on immediate and temporary gratification to please the flesh? Or do we look to the eternal side of the ledger... perhaps 10,000 years or 10 million years from now?

That is somewhat how I see it.

[Odysseus]

Okay, the Jewish agnostic will now make the point that the Christians have missed:

You weren't alone. Your faith tells you that God is always with you. Going out with the others simply subjected you to the noise of their lifestyle, and distracted you from the things that strengthen your faith, and help you resist temptation, and that's all that this was. The partying, the drinking and flirtations were just temptations, but because you were separated from your comfort zone (church, friends, etc.), you were more vulnerable. It was especially difficult because an attractive girl was expressing interest in you, and you wouldn't have been bothered by her platonic friendship if she hadn't been tempting. But, you didn't indulge.

Think of it this way: You're on a diet, and you spent a month at an all you can eat buffet without indulging. Sure, the various goodies were tempting, but you have a long term goal and you stuck with it. Give yourself credit for that.

[Gina]

As Christians, Christ is our husband and just because we FEEL lonely doesn't mean He isn't with us every step of the way. Pray that your feelings will be in line with that reality.

Ahem. :)

[AmPat]

Okay, the Jewish agnostic will now make the point that the Christians have missed:

You weren't alone. Your faith tells you that God is always with you. Going out with the others simply subjected you to the noise of their lifestyle, and distracted you from the things that strengthen your faith, and help you resist temptation, and that's all that this was. The partying, the drinking and flirtations were just temptations, but because you were separated from your comfort zone (church, friends, etc.), you were more vulnerable. It was especially difficult because an attractive girl was expressing interest in you, and you wouldn't have been bothered by her platonic friendship if she hadn't been tempting. But, you didn't indulge.

Think of it this way: You're on a diet, and you spent a month at an all you can eat buffet without indulging. Sure, the various goodies were tempting, but you have a long term goal and you stuck with it. Give yourself credit for that.

For a Jewish heathen, your analysis is very good. I applaud this Christian. "Christians are in the world but not of it."

[FlaGator]

How can I be lonely when I can talk to the Creator of everything anytime I want?

[NJCardFan]

Footprints

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.

[AmPat]

How can I be lonely when I can talk to the Creator of everything anytime I want?

I feel the same when I hike or run. I'm never alone and I feel His presence everywhere I go.