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  1. #11  
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlaGator View Post
    How can I be lonely when I can talk to the Creator of everything anytime I want?
    But he is lonely. Telling him he shouldn't be merely exacerbates his problem.
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  2. #12  
    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    Okay, the Jewish agnostic will now make the point that the Christians have missed:

    You weren't alone. Your faith tells you that God is always with you. Going out with the others simply subjected you to the noise of their lifestyle, and distracted you from the things that strengthen your faith, and help you resist temptation, and that's all that this was. The partying, the drinking and flirtations were just temptations, but because you were separated from your comfort zone (church, friends, etc.), you were more vulnerable. It was especially difficult because an attractive girl was expressing interest in you, and you wouldn't have been bothered by her platonic friendship if she hadn't been tempting. But, you didn't indulge.

    Think of it this way: You're on a diet, and you spent a month at an all you can eat buffet without indulging. Sure, the various goodies were tempting, but you have a long term goal and you stuck with it. Give yourself credit for that.
    I like how you put it.

    Though in a way the experience was also beneficial, as it took me out of my comfort zone.
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  3. #13  
    Everyone gave some great advice.

    I guess the temptation was on diff levels. One was the desire to be included and be a part of the group. Then it became more of an ego thing where was like "really a girl would rather approach married men than to talk to a single guy whoís Christian". Even though, I know that there are Godly Women out there and the right woman will come along, it was still an ego bruise.

    But as a Christian, we must keep our focus on Christ and his Word. Thank for your support guys n girls.
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  4. #14  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmPat View Post
    For a Jewish heathen, your analysis is very good. I applaud this Christian. "Christians are in the world but not of it."
    Hey, I don't hold your heresy against you, do I?

    Quote Originally Posted by wannaberocker View Post
    I like how you put it.

    Though in a way the experience was also beneficial, as it took me out of my comfort zone.
    Thanks. And it gave you an opportunity for introspection and contemplation. By understanding the things that tempt you, you gain understanding of yourself and strengthen yourself accordingly.

    Quote Originally Posted by wannaberocker View Post
    Everyone gave some great advice.

    I guess the temptation was on diff levels. One was the desire to be included and be a part of the group. Then it became more of an ego thing where was like "really a girl would rather approach married men than to talk to a single guy whoís Christian". Even though, I know that there are Godly Women out there and the right woman will come along, it was still an ego bruise.

    But as a Christian, we must keep our focus on Christ and his Word. Thank for your support guys n girls.
    Don't take it as an ego bruise. She didn't reject you. If anything, she thought that you were rejecting her, and cared enough to ask about it, and once she understood, she got as close to you as she could without overstepping the boundaries that you laid out. She obviously enjoyed your company and felt safe with you because she knew that you weren't hitting on her, but she was also interested enough in you to come to you in the first place. If she wasn't intrigued, she wouldn't have bothered asking, and if she didn't like you and enjoy your company, she wouldn't have made you her confidant. Basically, you had taken yourself out of play and she still came to you. That should boost your ego, not bruise it.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  5. #15  
    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post



    Don't take it as an ego bruise. She didn't reject you. If anything, she thought that you were rejecting her, and cared enough to ask about it, and once she understood, she got as close to you as she could without overstepping the boundaries that you laid out. She obviously enjoyed your company and felt safe with you because she knew that you weren't hitting on her, but she was also interested enough in you to come to you in the first place. If she wasn't intrigued, she wouldn't have bothered asking, and if she didn't like you and enjoy your company, she wouldn't have made you her confidant. Basically, you had taken yourself out of play and she still came to you. That should boost your ego, not bruise it.
    I never really though of it that way. I guess at the end of the day if a girl decides to distance herself from me based on my life choices. Then there is no point for me to feel hurt by it because thatís a pretty big indication of any sort of romantic relationship not working out lol.
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  6. #16  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wannaberocker View Post
    I never really though of it that way. I guess at the end of the day if a girl decides to distance herself from me based on my life choices. Then there is no point for me to feel hurt by it because thatís a pretty big indication of any sort of romantic relationship not working out lol.
    Exactly. Don't give up who are are or want to be to satisfy someone else's expectations.

    This thread may have to be moved to the estrogen zone.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  7. #17  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    It is better to be without than to be with someone who isn't right for you. It's also better to be alone than to have to pretend to be someone you aren't to catch a man (or in your case, a woman).


    I was at a Christian singles picnic yesteday, and was surprised to see that some of the people brought beer. What I find at these events, because they are targeted to my age group, is that I am usually the only one who has never been married and the only one without children. I don't know-I'm not sure it's God's plan for me to hook up with some guy who's been married 3 times before, either, nor for me to be the stepmother to 20 somethings . But I like going to the events, and talking with people about faith and service, without having to deal with all that flirting and pretending.
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  8. #18  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starbuck View Post
    But he is lonely. Telling him he shouldn't be merely exacerbates his problem.
    I was only speaking for myself. I never told him he shouldn't feel lonely. I was merely explaining how I overcome any of those feelings when they creep up. When I realized that I could speak with God at any time and in any situation went a long ways to giving me peace in any situation.

    I watched both my mother and father pass away in the last year and I don't know if I could have dealt with it if it hadn't been for my awareness of God's loving presence.

    I do understand, however, what he means when he speaks about being out with others and not being able to participate in some of there activities. What I realize when I start to feel this way is that those activities are what builds walls between me and God. Satan's menions use these feelings against me and to drive a wedge between myself and the Lord. Recognizing this goes along way to getting past those things.

    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
    C. S. Lewis
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  9. #19  
    Quote Originally Posted by noonwitch View Post
    It is better to be without than to be with someone who isn't right for you. It's also better to be alone than to have to pretend to be someone you aren't to catch a man (or in your case, a woman).


    I was at a Christian singles picnic yesteday, and was surprised to see that some of the people brought beer. What I find at these events, because they are targeted to my age group, is that I am usually the only one who has never been married and the only one without children. I don't know-I'm not sure it's God's plan for me to hook up with some guy who's been married 3 times before, either, nor for me to be the stepmother to 20 somethings . But I like going to the events, and talking with people about faith and service, without having to deal with all that flirting and pretending.
    Never been to such an event. Though it would be intresting to go and check it out. For some reason i have a feeling these events are pretty much the same as non christian singles events. The only diff being the sex happens after a few dates and not on the same day. That seems to be the reality of todays Christian folks, often they are Christian in name only.
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  10. #20  
    I'm hyper. Lanie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wannaberocker View Post
    Background info

    So my work sent me on a month long training trip, along with 18 other people from different branches. A few of the people I knew and a few I meet for the first time. I’m in my mid 20s and have tried to be a practicing bible believing Christian since I was around 20 or 21.


    Anyways, so as I hung out with the same people everyday for a month. I felt very lonely, even though I was surrounded by people. I sort of felt like my Christian life did not match how they lived their lives. Every night, we all would go out and they would all drink. I don’t drink so I’d be the driver. The groups fun would revolve around flirting with each other (BTW almost everyone in the group is married apart from me and a few others), drinking and making sexual jokes. This was an every night thing and I simply didn’t fit into the whole picture. I could stay in my hotel room and not go out with them, but I didn’t want to close myself out from people.
    The whole month and situation made me feel incredibly lonely as a Christian. I felt that my beliefs dictated my actions, but my actions disconnected me from the group.


    I remember an incident when this girl who was in training with me. She was fairly attractive and single and the married guys in my training would flirt with her all the time and she would flirt back. Now Im single and one day she started asking me about why I was always quiet and didn’t drink or party with them to much. I shared that I was a Christian and that is why I tried to stay away from drinking and the sexual talk. After that point that girl pretty much started to treat me like, I was the “Gay” friend. In other words I turned into a completely non sexual entity for that girl. That annoyed me a bit and sort of made me feel even more isolated because of my beliefs.


    I know that as Christians we are not like the world we live in. Yet, the isolation kills me at times. If there are any Christian folks on here with some words to share please do. Everyone is welcome to reply btw not just fellow Christians lol.
    Sounds like you might need a more conservative Christian group. Not a bad thing. There are some churches that are a lot stricter in their ideas and they often hold their own events. You might find that they can have fun without cussing and drinking.
    Last edited by Lanie; 06-01-2012 at 09:05 PM.
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