CDC: There is no zombie apocalypse

**bijou** · 06-01-2012, 06:18 PM

In light of so many disturbing instances of cannibalism in recent weeks, the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is making one thing clear: Zombies do not exist.

Some have joked that the zombie apocalypse must be finally upon us, considering recent news. There was the horrific face-eating arrest in Miami, the Maryland student who claims to have eaten his roommate’s heart and brain, the Canadian porn star accused of killing, eating and dismembered another man, and the New Jersey man who stabbed himself then threw his skin and intestines at police.
Just to be clear, the CDC spelled it out an email to The Huffington Post: The walking dead are not responsible, nor do they exist. ...

http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog...ie-apocalypse/

**Rockntractor** · 06-01-2012, 06:28 PM

I bet they will no longer be saying that when somebody is sucking their guts down like spaghetti!

**Hawkgirl** · 06-01-2012, 06:57 PM

The CDC is just covering up their tracks. This is clearly some kind of government social experiment.

**RedGrouse** · 06-01-2012, 07:54 PM

Bunnies are plotting zombie apocalypse against humans.

**Apache** · 06-01-2012, 08:06 PM

Originally Posted by RedGrouse

Bunnies are plotting zombie apocalypse against humans.

Yup! Eveyone has heard of Rob Zombunny...

**bijou** · 06-02-2012, 04:24 AM

Originally Posted by Hawkgirl

The CDC is just covering up their tracks. This is clearly some kind of government social experiment.

OMG, so the CDC is simply a zombie front organisation?

**noonwitch** · 06-04-2012, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by bijou

OMG, so the CDC is simply a zombie front organisation?

It makes sense, after all the Red Cross is run by and for vampires-why do you think they always have blood shortages and make desperate calls for donations?