"You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his favorite thing, windsurfing. Even his hobby depends on which way the wind blows." óJay Leno
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" ''Why I'm a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl. The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she was a conservative Republican. "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That's no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" She pauses, and lets out a smile. "Then," Lucy says, "I'd be a liberal Democrat."
A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.