Thread: Why me?

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  1. #1 Why me? 
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    I was debating starting this in the Whiny Zone, but it sort of does apply to women. Bosses. That is.

    We have recently been doing some "work reassignments" at the job. There have been layoffs. A certain gentleman who has flirted with me throughout the years has just taken a position as my direct subordinate. He's been my subordinate for years, but he's always worked the graveyard shift, so I hardly ever saw him. Though I did his evaluations and took care of any issues that occurred on his shift as those who work on that shift are my direct reports. It's been harmless flirting, for the most part..and I can dish it out when I receive it.

    Here is the problem. He has moved to my shift, in my direct working area. Without giving too much detail of my exact position, he's sort of like my secretary, but not really, because he assists coworkers more than he would me. However my office is directly next to him and he is in an open area. I have to pass him every time I leave my office. I have direct contact with the position, constantly, all day long.

    He started a couple of weeks ago, and the attraction is mutual although I give NO hints of it. He brings me gifts, avocado's from his fruit tree, a machiato on his way in, one for him, one for me...etc. He's likes to hang out close to my office with small talk. I don't encourage it, but I also don't stop it. He is a very attractive Latin man, in his late 40's, has a house, is a conservative (we've been watching the debates at work). BUT FOR OBVIOUS reasons, I can't give him any hope or inkling that I'd date him ( in a heartbeat) if we didn't work together.

    Dating in the hospital is not exactly discouraged as it goes on all the time. This guy's last girlfriend works in the same department and now they will be relieving each other at shift change. They lived together for 8 years and he also dated another employee before that for a LTR..so he's not a player.

    TALK ME OUT OF THIS.
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  2. #2  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    The difference between pigs and people is that when they tell you you're cured it isn't a good thing.
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  3. #3  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Rock, you posted nothing.
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  4. #4  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    Rock, you posted nothing.
    Did too.

    Oh and wait till after the election.
    The difference between pigs and people is that when they tell you you're cured it isn't a good thing.
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  5. #5  
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    I would simply remind you of the old saying about gustation and defecation not taking place in close proximity. It's wise advice.
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member Molon Labe's Avatar
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    Talk you out of what? Sounds like you've already got it figured out.
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  7. #7  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Fire him and blame oBAMA.

    May the FORCE be with you!
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  8. #8  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    I was debating starting this in the Whiny Zone, but it sort of does apply to women. Bosses. That is.

    We have recently been doing some "work reassignments" at the job. There have been layoffs. A certain gentleman who has flirted with me throughout the years has just taken a position as my direct subordinate. He's been my subordinate for years, but he's always worked the graveyard shift, so I hardly ever saw him. Though I did his evaluations and took care of any issues that occurred on his shift as those who work on that shift are my direct reports. It's been harmless flirting, for the most part..and I can dish it out when I receive it.

    Here is the problem. He has moved to my shift, in my direct working area. Without giving too much detail of my exact position, he's sort of like my secretary, but not really, because he assists coworkers more than he would me. However my office is directly next to him and he is in an open area. I have to pass him every time I leave my office. I have direct contact with the position, constantly, all day long.

    He started a couple of weeks ago, and the attraction is mutual although I give NO hints of it. He brings me gifts, avocado's from his fruit tree, a machiato on his way in, one for him, one for me...etc. He's likes to hang out close to my office with small talk. I don't encourage it, but I also don't stop it. He is a very attractive Latin man, in his late 40's, has a house, is a conservative (we've been watching the debates at work). BUT FOR OBVIOUS reasons, I can't give him any hope or inkling that I'd date him ( in a heartbeat) if we didn't work together.

    Dating in the hospital is not exactly discouraged as it goes on all the time. This guy's last girlfriend works in the same department and now they will be relieving each other at shift change. They lived together for 8 years and he also dated another employee before that for a LTR..so he's not a player.

    TALK ME OUT OF THIS.
    Okay, but only because you asked.

    There are two things that you have to worry about: If you date and it doesn't work out, you will have to see him every day. That could make for a very uncomfortable situation. Also, since he is subordinate to you, there are potential EO pitfalls, which would fall harder on you as the superior. Those are the downsides, and they can have significant impacts on your work situation as well as your personal one.

    The upside is that you have someone there that seems to be compatible with you. If it worked out, you'd have a great longterm relationship with someone who is also in the loop at your job.

    The critical question for you, is whether this has the potential for permanence. If it does, then you may want to consider it. If it doesn't, then you are playing with fire and are better off not going for it.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  9. #9  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    I'm going to keep this on a professional basis. I don't want to set my company for a potential legal suit if things go awry. He has remained professional with his ex's and has remained a gentleman. The fact that we work in such close proximity, not to mention our roles, makes this a recipe for a disaster. I have dated coworkers in the past, but at the same level.

    I'm going to make guacamole tomorrow with the avocados he gave me and share them with the staff. No secrets. Secrets lead to indiscretions.
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  10. #10  
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    Oh, just go out with him. You know the risks - it sort of like investing, and if things don't work out maybe it won't be so bad.
    Figure out the worst that can happen. Can you live with that?.......................Yeah. I thought so.

    G'Luck!
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