I kind of like the idea behind All Soul's Day. A day to celebrate average people.
I think Purgatory is an interesting concept, but I particularly like your comparison to the DMV, where I have to go spend my morning and my money on Friday. They've come a long way over the past decade (although we call them the Secretary of State, here), but one computer malfunction and the whole system can crash for hours. I'll bring a book-maybe I'll bring Dante's Divine Comedy!
That seems appropriate. You can figure out which circle of hell will contain the DMV in the afterlife as you wait for divine intervention to get you to the window.
AP thinks Lake Isabella is in Central California? Are AP reporters and editors that ignorant?! And unable to use a map?! Are AP reporters and editors unaware of the 1/3 of California that is north of...