I just know I am going to regret this later, but can't resist it!
Voting for Obama is far worse than losing your virginity ... because the resulting pain of voting for Obama never stops!!! ...
Okay, the obvious response is this. We open with a group of women sitting around chatting, when one of them gets a text on her cell.
Oh, no. You guys... Do you remember Barry?
Wasn't he your "first"?
Yep. Four years ago. He had a smooth rap, and talked me into giving it up.
Whatever happened to him?
Beats me. That was the last I saw him. He made all these promises, told me that he loved me, then he got me to pay for bunch of dates and stuck me with the tab. Then, nada for four years. I'm still paying off the credit cards.
Oh God, that loser? What about him?
He just sexted me. After four years of nothing, he tries to give me a bootie call.
(Holds out phone)
No way! The nerve. Well, at least he's got a set, to hit you up after four years.
(Holds index finger and thumb a half-inch apart)
Four years ago, he promised you the moon, and you gave it up for him. He wasn't like other guys, he brought hope and change. Now, four years later, shouldn't you know better?
"Voting for Obama is like losing your virginity. If happens, you'll never find a decent man willing to marry you!"
Yes it is because either way you end up fucked.
The local morning radio show on 560 KSFO with Brian Susman and Melanie Morgan took the recording and bleeped out any time she said vote or voting. Funny as hell.
Replaced Vote and Voting with Screw and screwing. I have to say pervertedYour first time shouldnít be with just anybody. You want to do it with a great guy. It should be with a guy with beautifulÖ [GESTURES] Someone who really cares about and understands women. A guy who cares whether you get health insurance, and specifically whether you get birth control. The consequences are huge. [...] Itís a fun game to say, who are you screwing for? And they say, I donít want to tell you. And you say, no, who are you screwing for, and they go, guess. Think about how you want to spend those four years. In college aged time, thatís 150 years. Itís super uncool to be out and about, and someone says, did you screw? No, I didnít Ė I wasnít ready.
My first time screwing was amazing. It was this line in the sand. Before I was a girl, now I was a woman. I went to the polling station, I pulled back the curtain, I screwing for Barack Obama.
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