|I was one of those weird, loner kids in high school
I remember the high school years as very painful and lonely. For some kids its a blast to be in high school, on the football team, on the cheer leading squad, etc., but for the weirdo kids, the loners and misfits and outcasts, high school is hell.
I was like the latest weirdo shooter, I often daydreamed about taking my dad's 44 magnum to school and shooting the bullies who always picked on me, and then wasting the teachers that I hated. I don't know if other kids had the kind of daydreams I had, but I'm just being honest, I was a freako, weirdo, nerd, who the bullies loved to pick on, and I had no courage to fight back or defend myself.
One time on the school bus home, one bully bloodied my nose for a joke and I just sat there bleeding with all the kids laughing at me, boys and girls, and I just took it.
Poor, poor miserable me, I know, I think most kids are bullied at some point, it's just nature and it can be cruel. Anyway, I never did kill anyone in a mass shootout blaze of glory, but I sure thought about it, but never seriously. I also considered using my dad's shooter to end it all at the tender age of 15. I was one miserable, fucked up kid, but back then, they had no school psychiatrists, only useless counselors.
Every time another one of these horrible school shootings occur I always think of my painful years in high school, and I'm very uncomfortable remembering how I was, and how similar to the shooters I was. I had easy access to several large handguns which were always laying around the house, but I never snapped.
I wish I didn't relate to these killer kids so much, I wish my high school years had been brighter, and I feel so bad for kids like this latest devil who couldn't control himself any longer and snapped. Sympathy for the devil I guess.
Were YOU one of 'those' kids? Do you know of one of those kids? Kids like that need a little extra attention, and a little extra observation, and a little understanding. Today schools are more aware of bullying, and now there's cyber-bullying. Today's kids have a lot more for their heads to wrap around than I did, but kids are still kids, and some of them are living in severe mental pain.
I had no pills to help me then, no psychotropic meds for depression or dyslexia, which I have too, I had no adults to understand or comfort me, and somehow I survived to today. But every time one of these awful massacres happens, I thank the stars that I made it through unscathed. Suffer the little children to come unto me.