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  1. #1 Some home defense alternatives 
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Other than a BIG dog...



    Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:21 PM
    Speck Tater

    Some home defense alternatives

    Slingshot: A steel ball bearing in the head will bring down an intruder.
    Crossbow: This could easily be fatal.
    Bow and arrow: It worked on Custer.
    Baseball bat: If you know where to hide and can hit from behind, why not?
    Broadsword: If the intruder is unarmed someone with a good sword can bring him down with just a little training. Even a light fencing foil can be awfully intimidating if you file off the button and learn how to use it.
    Cellphone: Just hide and call 911. You do know where to hide in your house, right?
    Super Soaker water gun loaded with something nasty that would hurt the eyes, but not damage the furniture, like strong soap, or tabasco sauce.
    Darts: Could be anything from very painful (in the knees) to very fatal (in the face or head)
    Blow gun: And you probably wouldn't even need poison darts.
    Tranquilizer gun: It worked on werewolves for Buffy, why not on intruders?
    Laser pointer in the eye. A burglar sneaking in at night, temporarily blinded by a laser pointer could then be clubbed with a baseball bat before he saw it coming.
    A Panic Room: Expensive, and you'd need time to get into it.

    What other ways can we come up with to defend your home and family without needing assault rifles
    God "these people" are just Pitt stupid.
    May the FORCE be with you!
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  2. #2  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SarasotaRepub View Post
    Other than a BIG dog...





    God "these people" are just Pitt stupid.
    I bet they don't guard their weed patches with slingshots.
    The difference between pigs and people is that when they tell you you're cured it isn't a good thing.
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  3. #3  
    HR Corporate Scum patriot45's Avatar
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    PHP Code:
    DartsCould be anything from very painful (in the kneesto very fatal (in the face or head
    Triple twenty, bullseye! These moonbats live in a different reality! They would probably throw a plastic tipped dart!!

    If he would throw a dart at my knee I might die! ....Of laughing!!!

    : “Grow your own dope. Plant a liberal.”
    ” Obummercare, 20 percent of the time it works everytime.
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  4. #4  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    May the FORCE be with you!
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    Senior Member ReinMan's Avatar
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    Someone even mentioned extreme flatulence in a reply.

    Of course, my mind went straight to...


    Heh.
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  6. #6  
    Power CUer NJCardFan's Avatar
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    Slingshot requires a dead eye shot and doesn't work well when you're being rushed. Same with backsword(really?) and baseball bat. Hiding and calling 9-1-1? Might as well call your undertaker while you're at it.
    The Obama Administration: Deny. Deflect. Blame.
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  7. #7  
    Zoomie djones520's Avatar
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    Slingshot: A steel ball bearing in the head will bring down an intruder.
    - In a dark setting where you are scared shitless because some stranger, possibly armed, is in your home, good luck hitting shit.
    Crossbow: This could easily be fatal.
    - Pretty impractical. Unless you mount one above your head, where will you keep it? Will you keep the razor sharp blades somewhere that will be easy for your children to get to?
    Bow and arrow: It worked on Custer.
    - See above.
    Baseball bat: If you know where to hide and can hit from behind, why not?
    - Not a horrible option, most times it may be all you'd need, but it won't do much against a guy with a gun.
    Broadsword: If the intruder is unarmed someone with a good sword can bring him down with just a little training. Even a light fencing foil can be awfully intimidating if you file off the button and learn how to use it.
    - Only usable as deadly force, and you'd have to get real close. So either your going to stab a man in the back, or your going to charge a man with a gun head on. Good luck.
    Cellphone: Just hide and call 911. You do know where to hide in your house, right?
    - And your kids?
    Super Soaker water gun loaded with something nasty that would hurt the eyes, but not damage the furniture, like strong soap, or tabasco sauce.
    - I'm sure the guy who broke into your house will wait while you go to the pantry to grab a large bottle of tobasco sauce to fill your kids squirt gun up with.
    Darts: Could be anything from very painful (in the knees) to very fatal (in the face or head)
    - Maybe you to can go down to the pub later and have a pint with your game?
    Blow gun: And you probably wouldn't even need poison darts.
    - Really?
    Tranquilizer gun: It worked on werewolves for Buffy, why not on intruders?
    - *facepalm* Justify an object for home defense because Buffy used it on Werewolves? Kill yourself.
    Laser pointer in the eye. A burglar sneaking in at night, temporarily blinded by a laser pointer could then be clubbed with a baseball bat before he saw it coming.
    - Refer to slingshot. With a pounding heart in a dark room, use pin point precision to get laser pointer to required spot to cause eye discomfort. Good luck.
    A Panic Room: Expensive, and you'd need time to get into it.
    - And if the person is between your kids room and the panic room?
    In most sports, cold-cocking an opposing player repeatedly in the face with a series of gigantic Slovakian uppercuts would get you a multi-game suspension without pay.

    In hockey, it means you have to sit in the penalty box for five minutes.
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  8. #8  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    I will not be defending my family with a blowgun when the perp is using a glock.

    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
    C. S. Lewis
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  9. #9  
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    As Roddy Piper has often said, "You don't throw rocks at a guy with a machine gun!"
    Liberals are proof that evolution is only a theory. Nothing that stupid could evolve past a monkey.
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  10. #10  
    Senior Member FDK's Avatar
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    Bow and arrow: It worked on Custer.
    As usual, DUmmies and actual history are not on speaking terms. Does this idjut think the indians who defeated Custer didn't use RIFLES to do so?
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