Thread: A Southerner moves up North.....

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  1. #1 A Southerner moves up North..... 
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    A SOUTHERNER MOVES UP NORTH



    JAN 10 5:00 PM. It's starting to snow. The first snow of the season and

    the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered

    rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down,

    clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful!



    Jan 11 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white covering the

    landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a

    beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years, and

    loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city

    snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with

    compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved

    back and shoveled it again.



    Jan 12 It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has

    dropped to about 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs

    snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again.

    Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of

    the snow is now brownish-gray.



    Jan 13 Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon

    became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both

    cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 to a chiropractor, but

    nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.



    Jan 14 Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get

    to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway, and did considerable amounts of

    damage to the right quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit

    last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in

    store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today.



    Jan 15 2 degrees outside. More fuckin' snow. Not a tree or shrub on our

    property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night.

    Tried to keep from freezing to death with candies and a kerosene heater,

    which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the

    flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my

    eyelashes and eyebrows. 4x4 slid on the ice on the way to the

    emergency-room and was totaled.



    Jan 16 Goddamn mother fuckin' white shit keeps coming down. Have to put

    all the clothes on we own just to get to the fuckin' mailbox. If I ever

    catch that son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow I'll chew open his

    chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits

    to plow shut our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part

    of the roof has started to cave in.



    Jan 17 Six goddamn more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin'

    sleet, fuckin' ice and goddamn knows what other kind of white fuckin'

    shit fell last night. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice

    axe, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going

    snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More

    snow predicted. Wind Chill -22 fuckin' degrees. I'm moving back to

    South Carolina!
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member LibraryLady's Avatar
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    May 2008
    Location
    Louisiana
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    I would be at Jan 17 by Jan 11.

    I hate cold
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