Wait, why are you walking away? I haven't even described it to you yet! Come back here and listen.

Remember the bold words of Captain Kirk: "Risk is our business." Do you want to live a quiet, sedentary life or one of daring culinary adventures? The latter, of course. That's why Nick of DudeFoods has the perfect cheeseburger for you. Its bread cheese, beef, Brunkow cheese and bacon give you a 4,300 calorie exploit that your descendants will talk about for generations.