This pig came up to me at home yesterday with a letter in his trotter. Used the doorbell, not the knocker, asked for me by name, I said yes, he shoved a letter in my hand and said "Read, then see me later" Opened the letter, and wondered yet again how an American porcine had made it to my home..waitaminnit how did he get past Customs??

Who is it from....oh..Rockntractor. That explains it. Even our Customs didnt mess with him....whaddya know, public servants do know when to behave.

Letter was brief and concise: get my ass back here. not being willing to argue with a 400 pound muscled boar with an attitude that would make Godzilla cry for his mother..here I am.

Brief update: Retired, now full time pension carer. Other changes as well, may or may not discuss at a later stage.

Only have one question: is our widdle fwiend still around? I'll need a chew toy.