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  1. #1 100 MPH Goat.... 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Two Cajuns are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.

    They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

    The first Cajun says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

    The second Cajun says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

    The first Cajun says, "There's this old truck transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

    So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.

    They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the bushes behind them.

    As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the bushes, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

    While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

    "Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"

    The first Cajun says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about

    a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

    The old farmer said, "That's impossible.. I had him chained to a transmission!"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Quote Originally Posted by Carol
    When I judge someone's integrity one key thing I look at is - How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't agree with or does not like?
    I can respect someone who I do not agree with, but I have NO respect for someone who puts others down in a public forum. That is the hallmark of someone who has no integrity, and cannot be trusted.
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  2. #2 Short - luaghable - true 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Editorial in the Peoria Journal Star . . . . .

    "A pen in the hand of this president is far more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens."


    Clint Eastwood . . . . .

    "We Americans are so tired of being thought of as dumbasses by the rest of the world that we went to the polls this past November and removed all doubt."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Quote Originally Posted by Carol
    When I judge someone's integrity one key thing I look at is - How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't agree with or does not like?
    I can respect someone who I do not agree with, but I have NO respect for someone who puts others down in a public forum. That is the hallmark of someone who has no integrity, and cannot be trusted.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  3. #3 DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!! 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

    When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

    So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
    It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

    Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
    The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.
    With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

    The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
    VERY careful where she steps.wShe manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

    St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

    The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

    The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.'
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Quote Originally Posted by Carol
    When I judge someone's integrity one key thing I look at is - How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't agree with or does not like?
    I can respect someone who I do not agree with, but I have NO respect for someone who puts others down in a public forum. That is the hallmark of someone who has no integrity, and cannot be trusted.
    Reply With Quote  
     

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