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  1. #1 When Insults Had Class............ 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words...

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member ReinMan's Avatar
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    Great find!

    Churchill is among my favorite quotable personalities:

    Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.

    Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.
    We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.
    In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

    ~John Adams
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  3. #3  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    May the FORCE be with you!
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member ReinMan's Avatar
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    Just to throw another log on the fire...

    Bessie Braddock: Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.

    Winston Churchill: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.
    We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.
    In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

    ~John Adams
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  5. #5  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReinMan View Post
    Just to throw another log on the fire...

    Bessie Braddock: Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.

    Winston Churchill: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.
    I'd heard that one applied to Lady Astor, but she was a great beauty, while Bessie Braddock was notoriously ugly.


    Another one that has been attributed to Churchill, but was actually Dorothy Parker:

    Once it was said that Dorothy Parker and Clare Booth Luce arrived at a door simultaneously. Clare motions Parker ahead and says:
    "Age before beauty"
    Parker sweeps through the door without a pause and says over her shoulder:
    "And pearls before swine."
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  6. #6  
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    One of my all-time favorites comes from Casablanca:

    Ugarte: "You do despise me, don't you, Rick?"
    Rick: "Well, I suppose I would if I gave you any thought."
    Olde-style, states' rights conservative. Ask if this concept confuses you.
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  7. #7  
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    The first one is a classic, but the exchange was between John Wilkes and the Earl of Sandwich (John Montagu), not Disraeli. It was about a hundred years earlier. :)
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  8. #8  
    Senior Member LukeEDay's Avatar
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    They are great. My favorites have always been from Groucho Marx.

    I love my God, my country, my flag, and my troops ....
    _ WELFARE IS NOT AN ENTITLEMENT! _
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  9. #9  
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    Quote Originally Posted by LukeEDay View Post
    They are great. My favorites have always been from Groucho Marx.
    "These are my principles. If you don't like them, well, I have others...."
    Olde-style, states' rights conservative. Ask if this concept confuses you.
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  10. #10  
    Senior Member LukeEDay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Wood View Post
    "These are my principles. If you don't like them, well, I have others...."

    I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

    I love my God, my country, my flag, and my troops ....
    _ WELFARE IS NOT AN ENTITLEMENT! _
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