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  1. #1 CHURCH SERVICES of THE FUTURE 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
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    I came to Texas as soon as I could
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    PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"

    CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"

    PASTOR: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor 13:13.

    And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."

    P-a-u-s-e......

    "Now, Let us pray committing this week into God's hands.

    Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God"

    S-i-l-e-n-c-e

    "As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready."

    "You can log on to the church wi-fi using the password 'Lord909887. ' "

    "The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:

    "Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.

    Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.

    Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account."

    The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!

    Final Blessing and Closing Announcements...

    "This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place.
    Please log in and don't miss out.

    Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out.

    You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers."

    "God bless you and have a nice day!"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Quote Originally Posted by Carol
    When I judge someone's integrity one key thing I look at is - How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't agree with or does not like?
    I can respect someone who I do not agree with, but I have NO respect for someone who puts others down in a public forum. That is the hallmark of someone who has no integrity, and cannot be trusted.
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  2. #2  
    Sin City Moderator RobJohnson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    17,737
    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"

    CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"

    PASTOR: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor 13:13.

    And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."

    P-a-u-s-e......

    "Now, Let us pray committing this week into God's hands.

    Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God"

    S-i-l-e-n-c-e

    "As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready."

    "You can log on to the church wi-fi using the password 'Lord909887. ' "

    "The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:

    "Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.

    Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.

    Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account."

    The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!

    Final Blessing and Closing Announcements...

    "This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place.
    Please log in and don't miss out.

    Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out.

    You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers."

    "God bless you and have a nice day!"
    My Kindle and iPhone do come in handy during church. The rest are good ideas. I never carry cash and always have to remember to grab my checkbook!
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