Thread: My Daughter

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  1. #11  
    Senior Ape Articulate_Ape's Avatar
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    You sound like a great mom to me, Hawkgirl. In my opinion all children should be shy and quiet. Why, you shouldn't even know they are there as far as I'm concerned.
    "The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)
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  2. #12  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    She is actually quite bossy with her close friends...that's why it's amazing to me when these teachers (one who she just met today) say that she is so shy. Earlier on in the year, her teacher said she's a born leader. So how can a kid be reserved and shy but be a leader?
    My oldest daughter is very outgoing, but a bit insecure. My youngest is also, outgoing, but confident. It's the confidence that makes you a leader, and reserved does not equate with a lack of confidence. Shyness does, but that's just the perception of these teachers. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    She's completely normal at home with the family, a bit of a show-off, likes to dance, sing and she never shuts up. I've taught her about "stranger danger" and maybe she is just cautious around people she doesn't know....I'd rather her be cautious with strangers than be the type that goes with them. She does lead a sheltered life and she is watched like a hawk. But that's because of all the crazy stories one hears in the news it's hard nowadays to not be a bit over-protective, which I admit I am.
    Maybe I should stop saying " if you don't stay close to mommy when we're at Target, someone is going to take you." Maybe I am making her paranoid around people who she doesn't know. It's the NYC/Bronx in me, we don't trust anyone.
    The stranger/danger talk is supposed to be scary. Don't let up on that.

    It sounds like she's a perfectly normal kid. You've raised her to be polite, which is not as common in our culture as it used to be, so that may translate into what the teachers see as shyness. Also, kids go through phases, sometimes outgoing, sometimes shy. I wouldn't worry about it, and you certainly shouldn't blame your parenting. It sounds like you are doing a good job with her. Besides, no matter what you do, she's still going to tell her therapist how awful you were when she grows up.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  3. #13  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    From someone who is in a profession that is all about recognizing messed up kids and parents, I will say that you are a good parent and your daughter is normal and healthy. She's quiet and shy in a new situation-that is normal behavior for a 4 year old.


    In Hamlet, Polonious gives his son the famous "neither a borrower nor a lender be" speech. In it, he advises Laertes to "give all men thine ear and few thy tongue". That has always been considered wise advise. Although, if you are in my age range, it's really hard to read or hear that speech without thinking about the cast of Gilligan's Island singing it to the tune of The Toreador Song from Carmen.
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  4. #14  
    SEAduced SuperMod Hawkgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odysseus View Post
    You've raised her to be polite, which is not as common in our culture as it used to be, so that may translate into what the teachers see as shyness. :
    I am thinking this is the reasoning behind their comments. We are raising her in an "old skool" way (other than hitting). I see some of my friend's kids and I just cringe as they have absolutely NO MANNERS. My daughter says "thank you, no thank you, please" etc. At home, she is really just a normal kid in my eyes. She is an only child so maybe she just has to learn better at interacting with other kids. Maybe what they perceive as shyness is just her being respectful.
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  5. #15  
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    Quote Originally Posted by noonwitch View Post
    In Hamlet, Polonious gives his son the famous "neither a borrower nor a lender be" speech. In it, he advises Laertes to "give all men thine ear and few thy tongue". That has always been considered wise advise. Although, if you are in my age range, it's really hard to read or hear that speech without thinking about the cast of Gilligan's Island singing it to the tune of The Toreador Song from Carmen.

    Uh....WHAT??
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  6. #16  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elspeth View Post
    Uh....WHAT??
    The difference between pigs and people is that when they tell you you're cured it isn't a good thing.
    http://i.imgur.com/FHvkMSE.jpg
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  7. #17  
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    O. Dear. Lord.

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  8. #18  
    Senior Member ReinMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elspeth View Post
    O. Dear. Lord.

    Just had to respond with some more 'classic ultra-cheese'...
    We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.
    In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

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  10. #20  
    Drive-by Poster ABC in Georgia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkgirl View Post
    I am thinking this is the reasoning behind their comments. We are raising her in an "old skool" way (other than hitting). I see some of my friend's kids and I just cringe as they have absolutely NO MANNERS. My daughter says "thank you, no thank you, please" etc. At home, she is really just a normal kid in my eyes. She is an only child so maybe she just has to learn better at interacting with other kids. Maybe what they perceive as shyness is just her being respectful.
    She is an only child etc. ...
    Hawk ...

    Please believe me, she is doing just fine, and you as a parent, are doing the right thing.

    Don't fall for the line that only children are missing out on so many things in their lives. It is not true. For one thing, IMO, and from studies done (which I can't be bothered to look up at the moment) they more often than not turn out be quite well adjusted and even more successful in many cases, than those with siblings.

    I too, am a mother of an only child, and was told on a few occasions by well-meaning friends, that I was far too strict, and tended to treat him as a tiny "adult" and expected way too much of him. Hogwash!

    One thing I must admit that Mr. ABC and I did do as he was growing up, was to always take one of his friends (once even 2 of them at the same time) on vacation with us. It was fun!

    Gotta run! Relax Hawk! You're doing fine!
    American By Choice ~ 1980
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