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  1. #1 English Signs from Around the World !!‏ 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    In a Bangkok Temple:
    IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

    Cocktail lounge, Norway:
    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

    Doctor's office, Rome:
    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

    Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
    DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

    In a Nairobi restaurant:
    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

    On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi:
    TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

    On a poster at Kencom:
    ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

    In a City restaurant:
    OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

    In a Cemetery:
    PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

    Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
    GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

    On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
    OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

    In a Tokyo Bar:
    SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

    Hotel, Yugoslavia:
    THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

    Hotel, Japan:
    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

    In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

    A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest:
    IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

    Hotel, Zurich :
    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

    Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
    WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways!!!)

    A Laundry in Rome:
    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

    Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
    IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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  2. #2 DID I READ THAT SIGN RIGHT? 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    "TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW"

    In a Laundromat:
    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

    In a London department store:
    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

    In an office:
    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

    In an office:
    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

    Outside a secondhand shop:
    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

    Notice in health food shop window:
    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

    Spotted in a safari park:
    ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

    Seen during a conference:
    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

    Notice in a farmer's field:
    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

    Message on a leaflet:
    IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

    On a repair shop door:
    WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

    Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    Really? Ya think?

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Now that's taking things a bit far!

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    What a guy!

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    See if that works any better than a fair trial!

    War Dims Hope for Peace
    I can see where it might have that effect!

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    Ya think?!

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Who would have thought!

    Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    They may be on to something!

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

    Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge!

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    Weren't they fat enough?!

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Do they taste like chicken?

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Boy, are they tall!

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Did I read that right?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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