You Know It's a Rough Night When...

-Get wasted at a bar, blocks from your home.
-Attempt to drive wasted, blocks to your home.
-Play bumper cars with trash cans along the road.
-Fuck me, that trash can jumped out at me!
-Wind up in someones front yard, no idea how - likely due to aliens.
-Spin your tires, trashing their yard, till the police show up.
-Remind them, that you're the Mayor and their boss!
-Remind them, you heard they're a good guy...
-Get pissed when they are a good guy, not corrupt, and treating you as a drunk.
-Plead for tips on cheating a breathalyzer, remind them that you're their boss.
-Officer professionally contacts the State Police, and hands the case to them, to avoid a conflict of interest.
-State you can't take a balance test due to a knee surgery.
-Blow a .296 breathalyzer, 45 minutes later.
-Give a .26 blood-alcohol test, 90 minutes later.
-Arrested :(
-Find out you're considered to drunk for the local jail!
-Escorted home by the police, to sleep it all off.
-Realize, you can't find your keys... and no one's home to let you in.
-Be dropped off at your ex-wifes home by the police, while still bloody drunk... - Priceless!

http://www.sctimes.com/article/20130...Feb-DWI-arrest