Thread: Short Jokes

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  1. #11  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Doctor asks: How's your headache?
    Patient: She is fine!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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  2. #12  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    Waddiyado - get a pygmy goat?
    You said short jokes.
    How is obama working out for you?
    http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/5d569df9-186a-477b-a665-3ea8a8b9b655_zpse9003e54.jpg
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  3. #13  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    I was going to write a joke about alcoholic midgets but I don't want to lower the bar
    How is obama working out for you?
    http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/5d569df9-186a-477b-a665-3ea8a8b9b655_zpse9003e54.jpg
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  4. #14 Short, snort, snert 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.


    What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.


    How does Jesus make tea???? Hebrews it.


    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!


    What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.


    How do you catch a unique rabbit? You ‘neek’ up on it.


    How do you catch a tame rabbit? The ‘tame’ way.


    What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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  5. #15  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

    A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

    When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

    The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

    A boiled egg is hard to beat.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
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  6. #16  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    I just saw a midget nun and all I could think was oh ye of little faith.
    How is obama working out for you?
    http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/5d569df9-186a-477b-a665-3ea8a8b9b655_zpse9003e54.jpg
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  7. #17  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    A Laotian, a Korean and a Cambodian walk into a restaurant. The maitre de says, "Sorry, but you can't come in without a Thai."

    Sic hacer pace, para bellum.
    Sent from my android.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  8. #18  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Only in math problems can you buy 50 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
    Reply With Quote  
     

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