Thread: Scottish Humor

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  1. #1 Scottish Humor 
    Administrator SaintLouieWoman's Avatar
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    *TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES*
    ---
    A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office
    to see that the obituary for her recently deceased
    husband is published.

    The "obit" editor informs her that there is a charge
    of 50 cents per word.
    She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well,
    then, let it read,
    'Angus MacPherson died'."

    Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells
    her that there is a seven word minimum for
    all obituaries.

    She thinks it over and in a few seconds says,
    "In that case, let it read.......

    'Angus MacPherson died. Golf clubs for sale'."

    http://http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r231/SarasotaRepub/83069bcc.png

    " To the world you are just one more person, but to a rescued pet, you are the world."

    "
    A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!"

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  2. #2 Irish humor 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends.

    During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead friend.

    And as fate would have it, Shawn would be the first to pass. Pat, hearing of his friend's illness, came to visit his dear friend one last time. "Shawn," said Pat, "can you hear me?"

    Faintly, Shawn replied, "Yes, Paddy, I can." Bashfully, Pat started, "Do you remember our pact, Shawn?"

    "Yes, I do Patty," Shawn strained. "And, you'll also remember that I was to pour the contents of a fine, old bottle of whiskey over your grave, which we have been saving for, going on 30 years now?" said Pat.

    "Yes Patty, I do," whispered Shawn.

    "It's a very "old" bottle now, you know," urged Pat. "And what are you gettin' at Pat?" asked Shawn, briskly.

    "Well Shawn, when I pour the whiskey over your grave, would ya mind if I filter it through my kidneys first?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Quote Originally Posted by Carol
    When I judge someone's integrity one key thing I look at is - How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't agree with or does not like?
    I can respect someone who I do not agree with, but I have NO respect for someone who puts others down in a public forum. That is the hallmark of someone who has no integrity, and cannot be trusted.
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  3. #3 Scottish version 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The elderly Scottish Laird lay near death and called his faithful manservant to his bedside to hear his final request.

    "Hamish," he said, "When I'm gone I want you to take that bottle of single malt Scottish whiskey that's been in the family for thirty years and pour it over my grave."

    "Certainly Sir," replied the servant in his thick brogue, "But do ye mind if I filter it through me kidneys furst?"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Quote Originally Posted by Carol
    When I judge someone's integrity one key thing I look at is - How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't agree with or does not like?
    I can respect someone who I do not agree with, but I have NO respect for someone who puts others down in a public forum. That is the hallmark of someone who has no integrity, and cannot be trusted.
    Reply With Quote  
     

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