Thread: If you're about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop

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  1. #1 If you're about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The obituary of Mary A. "Pink" Mullaney

    We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments. Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn't leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay. Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Say the rosary while you walk them. Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the consecration, every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass. Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. When you learn someone's name, share their patron saint's story, and their feast day, so they can celebrate. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner. If they are from another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to "listen with an accent." Never say mean things about anybody; they are "poor souls to pray for." Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats........


    The whole thing
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
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  2. #2  
    Power CUer NJCardFan's Avatar
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    Wow, she looks damned good for an 85 year old:

    "Inequality is a false notion propagated by those who are made to feel guilty for what they have by those who are jealous for what they don't"-Former MTV Host Kennedy
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  3. #3  
    PORCUS MAXIMUS Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NJCardFan View Post
    Wow, she looks damned good for an 85 year old:

    The tight fitting spandex dress is holding everything where it should be, take the dress off and everything heads for her ankles.
    How is obama working out for you?
    http://i686.photobucket.com/albums/vv230/upyourstruly/5d569df9-186a-477b-a665-3ea8a8b9b655_zpse9003e54.jpg
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  4. #4  
    Power CUer NJCardFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rockntractor View Post
    The tight fitting spandex dress is holding everything where it should be, take the dress off and everything heads for her ankles.
    Uh, no:



    Pink is a fitness nut. She has washboard abs and is very muscular. Take the dress off and everything will still be where it should be.
    "Inequality is a false notion propagated by those who are made to feel guilty for what they have by those who are jealous for what they don't"-Former MTV Host Kennedy
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  5. #5  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    I love the picky-kid/laundry shute idea.
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  6. #6  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NJCardFan View Post
    Uh, no:



    Pink is a fitness nut. She has washboard abs and is very muscular. Take the dress off and everything will still be where it should be.
    We'd actually need to see her take off the dress to prove this.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  7. #7  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NJCardFan View Post


    does not equal

    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
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