If you're about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop

[Retread]

The obituary of Mary A. "Pink" Mullaney

We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments. Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn't leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay. Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Say the rosary while you walk them. Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the consecration, every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass. Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. When you learn someone's name, share their patron saint's story, and their feast day, so they can celebrate. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner. If they are from another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to "listen with an accent." Never say mean things about anybody; they are "poor souls to pray for." Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats........

The whole thing

[NJCardFan]

Wow, she looks damned good for an 85 year old:

[Rockntractor]

Wow, she looks damned good for an 85 year old:

The tight fitting spandex dress is holding everything where it should be, take the dress off and everything heads for her ankles.

[NJCardFan]

The tight fitting spandex dress is holding everything where it should be, take the dress off and everything heads for her ankles.

Uh, no:



Pink is a fitness nut. She has washboard abs and is very muscular. Take the dress off and everything will still be where it should be.

[noonwitch]

I love the picky-kid/laundry shute idea.

[Odysseus]

Uh, no:



Pink is a fitness nut. She has washboard abs and is very muscular. Take the dress off and everything will still be where it should be.

We'd actually need to see her take off the dress to prove this.

[Retread]

does not equal