Cubs fans can be obnoxious. White Sox fans can be vengeful. Here is one of those stories.
There will be no names or locations given in the telling of this tale, not with some chance of further retaliations -- and not from the central players; you know never what this kind of thing might inspire. That was the deal-breaker for the Sox prankster, not when you're dealing with such creatively spectacular spite.
To begin, we go back to last June when the Cubs hosted the Sox. Two suburban couples, one Cubs, one Sox, went to dinner. The Cubs husband predicted a sweep. The Sox husband said no way. The bet was dinner.
Turned out, the Cubs swept. The Cubs couple would collect a meal.
Ah, but the Cubs husband couldn't leave it at that. He skulked around the Sox couple's house and placed a broom in the doorway.
Ah, but the Cubs husband still couldn't leave it at that. Attached was a note that said something like, "This is just a reminder of who the real team in Chicago is."
The Sox wife found the souvenir and the note, and called the Sox husband. Fine, said the Sox husband. Say nothing, he advised.
Ah, but the Cubs husband still couldn't leave it at even just that. When he got no response from from the Sox household, he called the next day to ask if anyone found anything unusual in the doorway. Yes, he was told. Let's pay off dinner, he was told. And that was that.
Except in the Sox household, where the Sox husband told the Sox wife that plotting revenge would require patience: "When the Cubs lose in the first round of the playoffs -- and you know they will because they're the Cubs -- when it's the most painful, that's when we retaliate."
Fast-forward to last weekend. The Cubs are swept out of the first round by the Dodgers on Saturday night.
Sunday morning at the Cubs house. A battery-operated CD player with a timer went off at exactly 7:30. A bullhorn is attached to the CD player. The whole contraption is placed right outside the Cubs couple's bedroom. Blasting out of the bullhorn is a very loud and painfully slow version of "Go Cubs Go."
Ah, but the Sox husband couldn't leave it at that. No, as the Cubs husband sought the source of the noise, he ventured out to his front yard. There he found 100 lawn signs with nothing but a drawing of a billy goat stuck in the ground. Yes, 100 signs. For some reason, that number rings a bell.
Ah, but the Sox husband couldn't leave at even just that. No, there on the lawn, supported by two poles sunk into buckets of cement was a massive, blue "L" flag.
Ah, but the Sox husband still couldn't leave it at even just that. No, on the garage were dozens of posters that mocked Cub Nation. A Cubs logo with with a red circle and line through it. The Wrigley Field marquee with a nasty saying. One poster explained, "I'd rather have a sister that lived in a whorehouse than a brother that's a Cubs fan."
Much admiration from the Cubs husband: "All I could say to my wife was, 'How can you beat this?' "
Ah, but the Sox husband still wasn't done, and this was the best because it was the most subtle.
The address on the Cubs couple's mailbox was changed. The new number?