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  1. #1 Children In Church 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    I came to Texas as soon as I could

    A little boy was attending his first wedding.
    After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
    "Sixteen," the boy responded.
    His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
    "How do you know that?"
    "Easy," the little boy said.
    "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

    After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,
    "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
    "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
    "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
    And I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

    A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
    "How do you know what to say?" he asked.
    "Why, God tells me."
    "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

    A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
    Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
    "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

    Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.
    She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane,
    So she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
    "The Flight to Egypt ," was his reply.
    Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said,
    "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.
    But who's the fourth person?"
    "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"

    A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
    From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
    She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
    Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
    "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
    "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
    "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
    Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
    "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member Dori's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Blue State Hell

    Reminds me of my girls when they were little and saw nuns for the first time.

    The oldest pointed and yelled out; "Oh mommy, look at the three witches".
    Obama isn't the problem. The problem is an electorate that would vote a man like him into office.
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