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  1. #1 Celebrating Celibacy. 
    I gave up sex eight years ago... and it's the best thing I ever did

    By Sonia Poulton
    Last updated at 7:57 AM on 14th October 2008

    Clara Meadmore, having remained a virgin all her life, recently celebrated her 105th birthday. Celibacy, she said, was one of the keys to leading a long and happy life.

    Here, Sonia Poulton explains why sexual abstinence has numerous benefits and why she can't think of one reason why she'd want to jump into bed with a man again...

    I have been celibate since 2000, and I can honestly say sexual abstinence has numerous benefits. Indeed, I can't think of one reason why I would want to jump into bed with a man again. You see, unlike Clara, I am not a virgin. I am a mother who had a number of sexual partners before deciding to say no to sex. And I firmly believe my decision has done nothing but good for me and, more importantly, my 11-year-old daughter.

    Celibacy appealed to me, primarily, for two reasons. I had separated from my daughter's father when she was three years old and, assuming that I was not immediately going to meet 'the one', I was not happy to subject her to a series of strangers in my pursuit of a new man.

    Secondly, I considered it vital, for my sanity, to have 'time out' from romantic relationships.

    (snip)

    I was desperate to change my ways. Not only for myself, but with the intention that my daughter would not repeat my costly mistakes. And I was also deeply affected by our culture's sexual fixation. I was appalled that everything from dishwashers to cars was marketed using sexual imagery or innuendo. The commercialisation of sex was - is - abhorrent to me. I sought to break free. So, in the spring of 2000, I bade farewell - for the time being, at least - to a sex life.

    Little did I know how far-reaching the benefits would be, or how much I would learn as a consequence of my decision.

    'Better in mind and body'

    For one, my physical health is a lot safer than it otherwise might have been. There are at least 30 sex-related diseases out there, the most serious being Aids, and numerous STIs that accompany intercourse.
    Some, like chlamydia, are undetectable and can remain in the body, wreaking havoc and causing infertility. I have also significantly reduced my odds of contracting cervical cancer.

    But, above all, I am happier emotionally. I am comfortable in my own skin and have shed the welter of insecurities and fears that every single woman lives with when she is in a series of relationships.
    Celibacy has had a bad press. So, let me dispel the myths surrounding my decision. I am not celibate because I can't 'get' any sex. It is a personal choice not an enforcement. The reality is, since being celibate, I have been propositioned by old and new acquaintances alike, and even high-profile ones.
    When I was invited on to This Morning to discuss my choice, David Hasselhoff, who was also on the show, asked me out and offered to 'cure me'. I politely declined.

    Since I went public about being celibate, I have been inundated with letters from other like-minded people.
    Much more at the link. I find it just fascinating that our society has gotten to the point where celibacy is regarded as exotic - maybe even somewhat dangerous. I wonder if we are beginning to see a backlash against our 24/7 sexually saturated culture?

    While I'm a fan of appropriate sexual relationships, there's no question that reflex sex, drunken sex, boredom sex, and hipster sex are all way more trouble than they're worth for most women.

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  2. #2  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    Much more at the link. I find it just fascinating that our society has gotten to the point where celibacy is regarded as exotic - maybe even somewhat dangerous. I wonder if we are beginning to see a backlash against our 24/7 sexually saturated culture?

    While I'm a fan of appropriate sexual relationships, there's no question that reflex sex, drunken sex, boredom sex, and hipster sex are all way more trouble than they're worth for most women.

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    But not necessarily for most men. :D
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    While I'm a fan of appropriate sexual relationships, there's no question that reflex sex, drunken sex, boredom sex, and hipster sex are all way more trouble than they're worth for most women.
    Well, I certainly glad you defined that and didnít even remotely suggest it applies to males.

    After all - a real menís motto is: To Spew is to Live. ;)
    At Coretta Scott King's funeral in early 2006, Ethel Kennedy, the widow of Robert Kennedy, leaned over to him and whispered, "The torch is being passed to you." "A chill went up my spine," Obama told an aide. (Newsweek)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    When I was invited on to This Morning to discuss my choice, David Hasselhoff, who was also on the show, asked me out and offered to 'cure me'. I politely declined.
    Fucking classy!
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  5. #5  
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    Celebrating Celibacy????

    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  6. #6  
    You guys!

    It's all about the cheap sex jokes, isn't it? :D

    Seriously, I admire this woman's decision. She isn't going to inflict her own sex life or romantic aspirations on her daughter. I know genuine adults who still can't discuss their divorced parents' various hook-ups without flinching.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    You guys!

    It's all about the cheap sex jokes, isn't it? :D
    It may sometimes be quite economical, but my sex is never cheap. ;)
    At Coretta Scott King's funeral in early 2006, Ethel Kennedy, the widow of Robert Kennedy, leaned over to him and whispered, "The torch is being passed to you." "A chill went up my spine," Obama told an aide. (Newsweek)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    You guys!

    It's all about the cheap sex jokes, isn't it? :D
    And this is a surprise because.... why, exactly?
    "Today, [the American voter] chooses his rulers as he buys bootleg whiskey, never knowing precisely what he is getting, only certain that it is not what it pretends to be." - H.L. Mencken
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  9. #9  
    Celibacy appealed to me, primarily, for two reasons. I had separated from my daughter's father when she was three years old and, assuming that I was not immediately going to meet 'the one', I was not happy to subject her to a series of strangers in my pursuit of a new man.
    Obama? :D

    Secondly, I considered it vital, for my sanity, to have 'time out' from romantic relationships.
    I though the article was about celibacy? What's love got to do with it?
    At least once every human should have to run for his life, to teach him that milk does not come from supermarkets, that safety does not come from policemen, that news is not something that happens to other people. ~ Robert Heinlein

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