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  1. #1 Halloween groaners 
    HR Corporate Scum patriot45's Avatar
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    May 2008
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    Plant City, Florida
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    Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
    A: Pumpkin Pi.

    Q: How do you make a witch stew?
    A: Keep her waiting for hours.

    Q: How do ghosts begin their letters?
    A: "Tomb it may concern..."

    Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
    A: He was repossessed.

    Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person's Corn Flakes?
    A: A cereal killer

    Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
    A: With a pumpkin patch.

    Q: What is a ghost's favorite ride?
    A: A roller ghoster.

    Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
    A: Because people are dying to get in.

    Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty?
    A: Tired blood.

    Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
    A: He was all wound up.

    Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
    A: A dead end.

    Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying?
    A: You can see right through him.

    Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?
    A: They both have megabytes.

    Q: Where do vampires live?
    A: At the Vampire State Building.

    Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
    A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.

    Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
    A: Lake Erie.

    Q: How can you tell when a window is scared?
    A: They get shudders.

    Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
    A: It had no body to dance with.

    Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
    A: Hello, hello, hello.

    Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
    A: Spelling!

    Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
    A: When something tickles his funny bone.

    Q: What tops off a ghost's sundae?
    A: Whipped Scream

    Q: What has a black hat, flies on a broomstick, and can't see anything?
    A: A witch with her eyes closed.

    Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
    A: Because he's always a goblin.

    Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
    A: He's mist.

    Q: What sailor like to be chilled to the bone?
    A: A skeleton crew.

    Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
    A: In the casketeria.

    Q: Where did the goblin throw the football?
    A: Over the ghoul line.

    Q: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
    A: Toasty ghosty.

    Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
    A: Hoblin Goblin.

    Q: What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea?
    A: A Sand-witch

    Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
    A: A boo-loney sandwich.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
    A: A wash-and-werewolf.

    Q: What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
    A: Fasten your sheet belt.

    Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
    A: His ghoul friend.

    Q: What is a vampires favourite mode of transportation?
    A: A blood vessel.

    Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
    A: A blood hound.

    Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
    A: Hallowieners.

    Q: What do you call serious rocks?
    A: Grave stones.

    Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
    A: By witchful thinking.

    Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle?
    A: It was a chain letter.

    Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?
    A: It was a stake sandwich.

    Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?
    A: Lazybones

    Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
    A: To stop his coffin

    : “Grow your own dope. Plant a liberal.”
    ” Obummercare, 20 percent of the time it works everytime.
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  2. #2  
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Pittsburgh PA
    Posts
    25,328
    punk'n pi! lol
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
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