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  1. #91  
    PORCUS STAPHUS ADMIN Rockntractor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    Hey bud! where ha been?
    I'd have to check my GPS log.
    “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” Isaiah 54:17
    Matthew 10:29-31
    "Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. "So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
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  2. #92  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I tried an online loan service last week.


    I didn't know computers could sneer.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  3. #93  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    How do you know if you watch too much TV?



    You spend more on batteries for the remote than on the gas bill.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  4. #94  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If you truly need a magnifying glass to read the fine print,



    it ain't good news.
    Last edited by Retread; 12-01-2015 at 05:47 PM.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  5. #95  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

    It was the pot calling the cattle back.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  6. #96  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    While I was sitting in my dentist’s waiting room I realized why he is so expensive. All the magazines were from this year.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  7. #97  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If Mr Pibb gets sick, does he call Dr Pepper?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  8. #98  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    PETA has finally went over the line.


    They are now criticizing people with pet peeves.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  9. #99  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    My doctor told me that I needed to exercise more.

    I asked him, “What should I do?”

    He said, “You might try running in place.”

    “In place of what?” I asked.

    He asked me to find another doctor.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  10. #100  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    May the FORCE be with you!
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