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  1. #71  
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    Three Little Pigs

    This is a true story, indicating how fascinating the mind of a six Year old is. They think so logically.

    A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her Class.

    When she came to the part where the first pig was gathering building materials for his home.

    She read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of That straw to build my house?"

    The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?"

    One little boy said very matter-of-factly, "Holy Cow! A talking pig!!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #72  
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    At The Asylum

    Two nuts are sitting next to each other at the asylum. One turns to the other and says, "Why are we all here?"

    Other nut shrugs his shoulders and replies, "'Cuz we're not all there."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #73  
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    A Little Girl, Dressed In Her Sunday Best

    A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'

    While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!

    As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!'
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #74  
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    A Rope Walked Into A Bar.

    The bartender said, "We don't serve your kind here! No ropes allowed!"

    The rope left, tied his top end, fluffed out the fringe and reentered the bar.

    The bartender said, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just threw out?"

    "No," the rope said. "I'm a frayed knot."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #75  
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    City Girl Visiting The Farm

    A city girl driving through the country stop to admire some cattle in a pasture. When the farmer approached she asked, "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?"

    The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns.

    Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold.

    Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #76  
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    I Met A Girl

    I once went out with a girl who had fiery red hair and a pale, thin body.

    I met her on Match.com
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #77  
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    Password Lock

    My friend got a password lock app that takes a picture whenever someone attempts to unlock his phone with the wrong password.

    He has a ton pictures of himself drunk.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #78  
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    My Girlfriend Brought 50,000 Bees

    My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our back yard.

    She's a keeper.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #79  
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    Humorous Marriage Advice

    The formula for a happy marriage is the same as the one for living in California. - When you find a fault, don't dwell on it.

    A smart husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #80  
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    Aspiring Student Psychiatrists


    The aspiring student psychiatrists from various colleges were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, to the student from the University of Houston, "What is the opposite of joy?"

    "Sadness," replied the student.

    "And the opposite of depression?" the professor asked of the young lady from Rice.

    "Elation," said she.

    "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M. "How about the opposite of woe?"

    The Aggie replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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