The Mother Of All Bouncie Stories

[jinxmchue]

This bounces pretty high, but I don't know if this is the mother of all bouncies. I have yet to see anything that trumps the cop jumping out of the bushes.

[everyman68]

And now in their world it's Republicans who vandalizes and keys poor people's cars? Just wow....

Crap like what the poster says happens...It just happens without all the phony bathos...

[LibraryLady]

zulchzulu (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 01:58 PM
Original message
I got caught pouring coffee on a car and trying to remove a McSame bumpersticker this morning !
I was parking my Prius on the street and noticed some guy with a McCain sticker as I got out to pick up my food stamps. It was echoey, but I could hear him say "blah blah blah blah Obama blah blah..." as he was walking away. As he walked into the building, I poured some coffee on his bumper to try and remove his McSame sticker
He yelled "What the F**K are you doing, asshole!" loudly and scared the crap out of me. He grabbed my arm and told me we're going to the police

I started crying! The tears were pouring down my tye-died shirt and dripping into my Birkenstocks.. He felt sorry for me as I whimpered like a little schoolboy, so he made me promise not to do it again.

When he walked away, I noticed I had crapped in my pants.

More realistic version!

[jinxmchue]

More realistic version!

Two thumbs up!

[everyman68]

zulchzulu (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 02:40 PM
Response to Original message

42. > Here's what I've done....
I begged him not to call the lot management and report me for vandalism. I begged him I not to press charges. He said he had to think about it.. I gave him my home phone number and told him my wife would provide him with sexual favors if he didn't report me.

He called my home number and talked to my wife and told her what happened. She was very upset when I got home. . I told her I need help. We joked briefly and she said she "kind of likes MCain."

FIXED!!!!!

[Dan D. Doty]

I'm going to tell you a true story.

When I was working my second to last day before starting my vaction ( I work at Wal-Mart, that should make a couple Moonbats heads explode), I notice a car on the parking lot as I was working outside.
It had been spray painted with " BUSH SUCKS " and " ANTI WAR ".

I looked at the stickers, Marlin Mason, Obama 08.

This goof had painted his own car ruining it.

I had good arguments for this Moonbat, but I never saw him, which is just as well because I'm not losing my job over some nitwit.

But when you ruin your own stuff because your hate demands it, you're capable of doing the worse acts in the world and justifying them, then you're capable of doing everything from arson to shoving people into ovens.

This is the mindset we're going up against.

A dark storm is almost upon us kids; keep your powder dry.

[FDK]

Here's a true bouncy:

MY buddy came out of Safeway last Friday and someone had backed into the bumper of his big ole POS diesel pickup. Apparenttly the driver of the car (subcompact with Obama sticker) had tried to drive away but people in the parking lot made her hand around until he got out of the store.

My buddy didn't care about the dent in his bumper (since it was already there before the gal hit him. After some thinking he gave the gal two options:

1) Go into the Safeway and get him $100 from the ATM.

2) Make out three checks:
$25 to Dave Reichert's campaign (Rebublican congresscritter)
$25 to McCain's campaign
$25 to Dino Rossi's campagin (WA gubernatorial candiadte who had election stolen in 2004)

So he was giving her the chance to save $25. At first she didn't understand but then got flustered, went into Safeway and got $100 out of the ATM. My buddy is pretty good at romenting liberals - including his parents.:D

[Kimberly]

Bouncie backfires

zulchzulu (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 09:58 AM
Original message
Poll question: I caught some Freeper pouring coffee on my car and trying to remove my Obama bumpersticker
This morning, I was parking my car in a lot and noticed some guy giving me the hairy eyeball as I got out to head to work. It was echoey in the lot, but I could hear him say "blah blah blah blah Obama blah blah..." as I was walking away. As I turned to go out of the building, I saw out of the corner of my eye him POURING SOMETHING on my car! WTF!

So I turned around quietly and went back to the car and saw him muttering something while he was trying to remove my Obama bumpersticker. I yelled "What the FUCK are you doing, asshole!" loudly and scared the crap out of him. I grabbed his arm and told him we're going to the front office to report him.

He started crying! The guy was in his late-sixties with the usual accouterments an older vintage Freeper dumbass would wear...polyester pants and a too-tight shirt with a big beer gut, Vitalis hair slicked back, cigarette-stained teeth and the vibes of an angry old man. I felt sorry for him as he whimpered like a little schoolboy, so I asked for his license to get his name and phone number. He gave it to me. I then told him I was going to talk to the parking lot management about what to do next.

When he walked away, I noticed he had crapped in his pants.

What should I do?
Poll result (130 votes)
Press charges for vandalism or other crimes (88 votes, 68%) Vote
Call the parking management and notify what happened (13 votes, 10%) Vote
Let him sweat it out and be paranoid he gets arrested (19 votes, 15%) Vote
Other (10 votes, 8%) Vote

zulchzulu (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #28
56. Yep...
#42 is what I did... not pressing charges, but reported to the lot management, who will either not let him in again or can do whatever they want...

I'd like to talk to him again and chances are that I will run into him again... downtown Madison WI is pretty small. I've found it's hard to change some people's minds, but who knows... time will tell.

zulchzulu (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 10:40 AM
Response to Original message
42. > Here's what I've done....
I called the lot management and reported him for vandalism. They asked if I wanted to press charges. I said no. They were considering reporting him to the police to have it on record. I said to make sure it was them that are logged in as reporting it.

I then called his home number and talked to his wife and told her what happened. She was quiet and sounded very upset. I told her to have him get help. We joked briefly and she said she "kind of likes Obama", but her husband doesn't. I said that appeared to be pretty obvious. I told her I wasn't pressing charges, but it should be a lesson to him that he really needs to get help.

I wished her a nice day and hopefully that's the end of it. Ferchrissakes...

One main reason I even brought all this up is because I've hear reports from others getting Obama lawn signs stolen and some instances of people getting their cars "keyed"... we're not even in the full season of Republican demonization yet...

Most of the DUers are eating it up, laughing and giggling over the story. Then it starts to go downhill...

rug (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 10:15 AM
Response to Original message
20. Other: tell the truth.

Forrest Greene (701 posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
55. FWIW, This Story Strikes Me As
...fiction. I could be wrong, but that's the impression it gives.

Maddy McCall (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #55
57. Yep.
He's told some other doozies, too.

PelosiFan (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #55
59. That was my impression as well.
Then I decided to say "nevermind" instead, as it seems that me reacting that way to anyone here, results in them getting unwarranted attention and popularity.

So, Way to go, OP! Definitely the best course of action in dealing with a poor old man is to grab him by the arm and scare the crap out of him.

Maddy McCall (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #59
85. Remember this one?
Someone could make a Lifetime Movie about the things this guy goes through.

http://www.democraticunderground.com...pic_id=2887774

Dr_eldritch (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #85
91. From tracking the links, I'd say
Edited on Mon Jun-16-08 12:53 PM by Dr_eldritch
it'd be more a 'Spike TV' movie.

I loved the one about being a stud.


*tracking*

cat_girl25 (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
63. You're lying. nt

DemocratSinceBirth (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
67. In The Spirit Of Your Account
You should have brandished your Glock and asked him if he was "feeling lucky".

Richardo (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 11:47 AM
Response to Original message
70. What a brilliant parody of all the 'confront the angry Freeper threads'
Edited on Mon Jun-16-08 12:02 PM by Richardo
So over the top: you can almost see it happening, then, as detail upon unlikely detail accumulates, you realize that it's all merely a wishful fantasy spun out of a chance encounter.

Kudos good sir! Masterfully done!

King Sandbox (321 posts) Mon Jun-16-08 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
76. Reminds me of the time some Freeper scum tried to steal one of my signs.
He had the audacity to walk right up to my yard and lift my Kerry/Edwards sign from its moorings! I then called for my three rottweilers, Truth, Justice & Noodles. I specially trained them for years to attack once they smelled the scent of Republicanism. There's nothing more refreshing than watching a right-wing pig defecate as vicious, left-leaning curs ravage his body.

Richardo (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 12:13 PM
Response to Reply #76
79. 'Noodles'
<roflmao smilie.>

King Sandbox (321 posts) Mon Jun-16-08 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #79
80. He was a rescue.

OPERATIONMINDCRIME (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-16-08 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
92. Wow, Talk About Your Blatantly Made Up Stories In A Desperate Attempt To Seek Attention. Holy Cow.
This is easily one of the most embellished and amateurish pieces of fictional writing I've ever seen here. How embarrassing for you.

[ralph wiggum]

Forrest Greene (701 posts)
Mon Jun-16-08 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
55. FWIW, This Story Strikes Me As

...fiction. I could be wrong, but that's the impression it gives.

Maddy McCall(1000+ posts)
Mon Jun-16-08 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #55
57. Yep.

He's told some other doozies, too.

PelosiFan (1000+ posts)
Mon Jun-16-08 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #55
59. That was my impression as well.

Then I decided to say "nevermind" instead, as it seems that me reacting that way to anyone here, results in them getting unwarranted attention and popularity.

So, Way to go, OP! Definitely the best course of action in dealing with a poor old man is to grab him by the arm and scare the crap out of him.

Maddy McCall(1000+ posts)
Mon Jun-16-08 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #59
85. Remember this one?

Someone could make a Lifetime Movie about the things this guy goes through.

http://www.democraticunderground.com...pic_id=2887774

chimpsrsmarter (1000+ posts)
Mon Jun-16-08 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #55
98. bounces more than flubber?

I love how the DUmmies are using our terminology now. :D :D

[LibraryLady]

Lots of DUers are on to old ZZ

zulchzulu (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-18-08 10:51 PM
Original message
I was pushed by a Clinton campaign thug to move into a non-existent protest zone

blah blah blah
Stand tall Obama supporters. This is a war. Our Democratic Party is going to have to deal with the extraction of the Clinton disease.

MADem (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-18-08 10:54 PM
Response to Original message
3. "Stand tall Obama supporters. This is a war." Stupidest comment of the YEAR.

Say, are you getting paid to post this divisive bullshit by the McCain campaign, or are you just naturally inclined to want to destroy the Democratic Party?

Heckuva job, there, Brownie!!!