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  1. #1 Barack Obama is so special he'll need only 83. 
    An Adversary of Linda #'s
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    The first 83 days

    -- Every new president tries to emulate Franklin D. Roosevelt's famous "100 Days" strategy of 1933 with a blitz of new initiatives, but Barack Obama is so special he'll need only 83.
    Based on in-depth research -- via right-wing websites -- here's Obama's agenda

    between Inauguration Day and Easter Sunday.

    Jan. 20: Deliver Inaugural Address (in Farsi) on YouTube.

    Jan. 21: Redecorate Oval Office as cave.

    Jan. 22: Get fitted for turban (Barack).

    Jan. 23: Get fitted for burkha (Michelle & girls).

    Jan. 24: Name new puppy: Roe-ver Siswade.

    Jan. 25: Veggie Monday.

    Jan. 26: Bill Ayers Medal of Freedom ceremony.

    Jan. 27: Enroll girls in madrassa.

    Jan. 28: Poison water supplies (red states).

    Jan. 29: Ahmadinejad state dinner.

    Jan. 30: Redistribute wealth.

    Jan. 31: Nuke Wasilla.

    Feb. 1: Hugo Chavez @ Camp David.

    Feb. 2: Outlaw fur.

    Feb. 3: Repeal Second Amendment.

    Feb. 4: Talk-Like-A-Kenyan Day.

    Feb. 5: Dick Cheney? Two words: extraordinary rendition.

    Feb. 6: Rumsfeld trial begins at The Hague.

    Feb. 7: Soak rich.

    Feb. 8: Soak middle class.

    Feb. 9: Declare basketball national pastime.

    Feb. 10: Arugula: It's what's for dinner.

    Feb. 11: Tim Robbins Film Festival.

    Feb. 12: Washington Monument renamed for Harold Washington.

    Feb. 13: Replace Gideon Bibles with Korans.

    Feb. 14: Jeremiah Wright Crusade at Yankee Stadium.

    Feb. 15: Outlaw snow machines.

    Feb. 16: Redeploy troops from Iraq to Texas.

    Feb. 17: National Flag-burning Day.

    Feb. 18: Date w/Barney Frank.

    Feb. 19: Mandatory sex education in utero.

    Feb. 20: Declare Karl Marx Holiday.

    Feb. 21: Have IRS audit Joe the Plumber.

    Feb. 22: Name Rashid Khalidi America's ambassador to the U.N.

    Feb. 23: Tell FBI to make sure Sarah Palin returned clothes.

    Feb. 24: Hunt down bin Laden for Medal of Freedom.

    Feb. 25: Ash Wednesday; Spring Ramadan begins.

    Feb. 26: Chicago White Sox: America's Team.

    Feb. 27: Pardon Tony Rezko.

    Feb. 28: Pardon Rod Blagojevich.

    March 1: Pardon Al Capone.

    March 2: Run-Down-America Day.

    March 3: Donate fake birth certificate to National Archives.

    March 4: Raise taxes.

    March 5: Destroy incentives.

    March 6: Get Alito to resign, replace w/ Hillary Clinton.

    March 7: Get Scalia to resign, replace w/ Bill Clinton.

    March 8: Get Roberts to resign, replace w/ Chelsea Clinton.

    March 9: Replace Pledge of Allegiance with Fist Bump of Allegiance.

    March 10: Annex Mexico. Presto! No more illegal immigrants.

    March 11: Redistribute Mexico's wealth.

    March 12: Mother's Day, out. Baby Mama's Day, in.

    March 13: Deport Toby Keith.

    March 14: National Prayer (Rug) Breakfast.

    March 15: Declare self as Anti-Christ.

    March 16: Give Sarah Palin a much closer view of Russia.

    March 17: Mock St. Patrick.

    March 18: Put McCain on ice floe.

    March 19: Nationalize oil companies.

    March 20: Nationalize Google.

    March 21: Outlaw NASCAR.

    March 22: Work on jump shot.

    March 23: Declare caribou an endangered species.

    March 24: Redistribute more wealth.

    March 25: Legalize gay marriage.

    March 26: Legalize transgender marriage.

    March 27: Replace "E pluribus unum" with just plain "unum."

    March 28: Ban bowling.

    March 29: Create National Leftist Militia.

    March 30: Betray Israel.

    March 31: Global warming initiative: dress in Arab robes.

    April 1: Rename Canada "Yeswecanada."

    April 2: Create joint U.S.-Europe currency: "baracko."

    April 3: Fellow celebrity Paris Hilton to head CIA.

    April 4: Jon Voight, Hank Williams Jr. join McCain on ice floe.

    April 5: Close Guantanamo.

    April 6: Except for Rush Limbaugh.

    April 6: Raise taxes again.

    April 7: Redistribute remaining wealth.

    April 8: National Pal-Around-With-Terrorists Day.

    April 9: Socialize medicine.

    April 10: Socialize everything else.

    April 11: Cancel White House Easter Egg Roll.

    April 12: Cancel Easter.
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member zBoots's Avatar
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    Don't tell me he is only going to lay the beyotch smack down on elderly widows before his inauguration?

    "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction." -Barack Hussein Obama
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  3. #3  
    When does he deport his Auntie back to Kenya?
    At least once every human should have to run for his life, to teach him that milk does not come from supermarkets, that safety does not come from policemen, that news is not something that happens to other people. ~ Robert Heinlein

    You Say The Battle Is Over
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member zBoots's Avatar
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    hmm, I also note very suspiciously that there is no "Pardon OJ Simpson" or "canonize Rodney King" listed.

    "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction." -Barack Hussein Obama
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  5. #5  
    Senior Member GrumpyOldLady's Avatar
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    Usually it's the first 100 days that people talk about ... so I added a few ... :D

    April 13: Pardons O.J. Simpson.

    April 14: Canonizes Rodney King

    April 15: Teaches White House staff how to chant Muslim Call to Prayer

    April 16: Disarms America as he promised (video available on You Tube)

    April 17: Gives Castro key to City (D.C.)

    April 18: Gives Chavez key to City (D.C.)

    April 19: Proclaims 'Hug a GITMO Terrorist Day'

    April 20: Executive order - No bad Obama press allowed.

    April 21: Executive order - Only Obama photos with faux-halo allowed.

    April 22: Makes Chicago new capital of USA

    April 23: Proclaims Black Liberation Theology official religion of USA

    April 24: Secretary of State Kerry in France to surrender to the world.

    April 25: Ships white dissenters to Africa to work in labor camps.
    Michelle Obama is put in charge of this operation.

    April 26: State Dinner for buddies from his 'Spring Break' in Pakistan

    April 27: 'Blame Whitey' named official Obama Doctrine for first term.

    April 28: Executive Order - Children must sing Obama song in all schools.

    April 29: All schools other than public school are outlawed.

    April 30: Proclaims self King of the World.
    Those who disagree are taken to concentration camps to start re-education process.
    If leftists didn't have double standards, they'd have no standards at all.
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