Thread: Halloween Humor

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  1. #1 Halloween Humor 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    What did the three vampires order at the bar?

    Two bloods and a blood light...


    What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?

    A pumpkin patch...


    What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor?

    Veinilla...


    Why is a haunted handkerchief so scary?

    Because it has boogers...


    What kind of shoes do ghosts from Texas wear?

    Boots
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #2  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    A skeleton walks in to a bar and takes a seat. Bartender says "What will it be?" The skeleton replies, "I'll have a beer and a mop."
    Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
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  3. #3  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?


    Bootiques.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #4  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

    Frostbite.


    What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

    A fur coat that fangs around your neck.


    What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

    A stake sandwich.


    What do you call a witch in the desert?

    A sandwitch.


    What does a vampire fear the most?

    Tooth decay.


    Where did the vampire open his savings account?

    At a blood bank.


    Who do vampires buy their cookies from?

    The Ghoul Scouts


    What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

    Bamboo.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #5  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    What is a baby ghost's favorite game?

    Peekaboo...


    What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?

    A cereal killer...


    Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

    They're too wrapped up in themselves...


    What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

    Dead ends...
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlaGator View Post
    A skeleton walks in to a bar and takes a seat. Bartender says "What will it be?" The skeleton replies, "I'll have a beer and a mop."
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  7. #7  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Why can't skeletons play music in church?

    Because they have no organs...


    Why can't you tell twin witches apart?

    You can't tell which which is which


    What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?

    A Poultrygeist..


    What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

    Pumpkin pi


    What did the mummy say to the detective?

    Let's wrap this case up...


    Why was the witch kicked out of witching school?

    Because she flunked spelling...
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #8  
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    What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

    Pumpkin pi
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  9. #9  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I wonder, did the headless horseman get to utilize handicapped parking?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #10  
    Moderator RobJohnson's Avatar
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    I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
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