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  1. #1 Bush's Resignation Speech 
    CU's Tallest Midget! PoliCon's Avatar
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    The speech George W. Bush might give:

    Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it
    this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of
    you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're
    really not fellow Americans any longer.

    I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather
    about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something,
    let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in
    this office.

    The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up
    because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of
    what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are
    too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

    Let's start locally. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the
    news media.

    Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too
    damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand
    in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are
    more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic
    security.

    We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If
    I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and
    let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush
    Lied...People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I
    could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be
    'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

    Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same
    as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy
    before I came into office. Some guy named ' Clinton ' established that policy.
    Bet you didn't know that, did you?
    Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding
    of foreign policy or economics. This nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a
    nuclear ally. Then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who
    says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to
    al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money
    to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will
    make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay
    for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel .
    Did all of you sleep through high school?

    You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold
    war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off.
    We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to
    survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

    That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they
    survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't
    also committed to taking as many of you dumbasses with them as they can. But
    they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

    You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the
    United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no
    idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and
    homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess
    started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm
    disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to
    a single season of 'Survivor.'

    Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the
    long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a
    few months, a few years, tops.

    Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time
    you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run
    Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a
    grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

    In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the
    Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on
    NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would
    rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

    I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be
    there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below
    sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

    I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet,
    is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to
    do so, it would sail right over your heads.

    So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down
    there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient
    for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as
    I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be
    lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

    Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new
    President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still
    have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart
    enough to turn this thing around in 2012.

    So that's it. God bless what's left of America .

    Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, can kiss my ass.

    PS - You just might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.
    Stand up for what is right, even if you have to stand alone.
     

  2. #2  
    Senior Member jeskibuff's Avatar
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    Most excellent!

    If that were the text of his speech, I would heartily encourage GWB to "resign" right away.
     

  3. #3  
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeski buff View Post
    Most excellent!

    If that were the text of his speech, I would heartily encourage GWB to "resign" right away.
    I second that. Americans are a bunch of whiny, poor me, the sky is falling, pathetic child like, cry babies. Those that state the country is going to hell in a handbasket probably did not go thru the late 70's and early 80's with high unemployment, high taxes (70% top rate), triple (18%) the interest mortgage rate of today's rate, inflation going thru the roof. The Magic Negro might bring us all of that change the dummies that voted for him hoped for. All those college grads might change their tune in a year or two when jobs might be hard to find. It could happen if the Democrats go on a tax hike and spending spree. The Abomination will begin in short order.
     

  4. #4  
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    Well ... bye!
     

  5. #5  
    Senior Member jeskibuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lacarnut View Post
    The Magic Negro might bring us all of that change the dummies that voted for him hoped for.
    One thing it doesn't look like they're going to get is prosperity they thought would be inevitable. With people pulling their money out of the stock market (and putting a chunk of it into guns and ammo), it's pretty obvious how much trust a lot of Americans have in the upcoming Obamanation. It's a little sick I know, but I'm going to have a bit of an "I told you so" chuckle when the market takes another steep plunge around January 20th. How low can it go? Of course, the Dummies will deny it has anything to do with his election victory and give any excuse they can think up, but the double whammy will be no mere coincidence.

    Violence is already increasing in Iraq, as could be expected. With Obama, the terrorists now have hope that they can make a comeback.

    Obama won't be able to fix this downward spiralling trend unless he publicly renounces his love of socialism and his intent to withdraw troops from Iraq. We just KNOW that's not gonna happen!
     

  6. #6  
    Senior Member jeskibuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cold Warrior View Post
    Well ... bye!
    In a few more months, you and a whole lot of people will understand the vast difference between GWB and the empty suit who replaces him. You'll be wishing for "the good ol' days of 2008".
     

  7. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeskibuff View Post
    In a few more months, you and a whole lot of people will understand the vast difference between GWB and the empty suit who replaces him. You'll be wishing for "the good ol' days of 2008".
    Riiight!!! The "good old days" with the DJIA off 25% and unemployment at 6.5%. The "good old days" with wireless wiretaps, violations of habeas corpus, and infringements on civil liberties in the name of security. The "good old days" with an America whose standing in world opinion ha sunk to eight year lows.

    Let's see if we're better off two years from now or now. I'm willing to bet the DJIA will be back above 12000, unemployment will be around 5.5%, and our foreign policy will have the backing of a much broader coalition.

    Bye, bye.
     

  8. #8  
    CU Royalty JB's Avatar
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    I wish we had the old CU database back so I could link to the posts where you were calling Bush the greatest president ever when the market was at 14K and unemployment at 5%.

    I'm certain you were giving him credit back then weren't you?
     

  9. #9  
    Senior Member jeskibuff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cold Warrior View Post
    I'm willing to bet the DJIA will be back above 12000, unemployment will be around 5.5%, and our foreign policy will have the backing of a much broader coalition.
    Well, that's certainly a lot of hope placed in a man ...

    • whose only accomplishment in life has been getting fast-tracked in elections. He rose from Chicago politics to POTUS...with no notable record other than 130-some votes of "present"
    • whose mentors in life were communists, America-haters and criminals
    • who is not very good at analysis, predicting that the Iraqi surge was futile and stumbling his way around the Georgian invasion crisis
    • who has already been caught in lies and broken promises, BEFORE he even took office
    • who made it quite obvious that he believes in an economic system that has been proven many times over to be a failure wherever it was implemented
    • whose loyal followers are without a doubt the dumbest people on the planet
    • whose credentials are sketchy, including his birthplace
    So with this P.O.S. at the helm, you've got a nice little fantasy going there, CW! Say hi to all the little elves and unicorns for me, okay?

    We're at a critical moment in our history, brought on by the fantasies of Democrats dumber-than-dumb who were the force behind the subprime mortgage fiasco. We needed somebody who could give us hope, not someone who has caused people to pull their money out of the markets in fear of the coming calamity.
     

  10. #10  
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeskibuff View Post
    Well, that's certainly a lot of hope placed in a man ...

    • whose only accomplishment in life has been getting fast-tracked in elections. He rose from Chicago politics to POTUS...with no notable record other than 130-some votes of "present"
    • whose mentors in life were communists, America-haters and criminals
    • who is not very good at analysis, predicting that the Iraqi surge was futile and stumbling his way around the Georgian invasion crisis
    • who has already been caught in lies and broken promises, BEFORE he even took office
    • who made it quite obvious that he believes in an economic system that has been proven many times over to be a failure wherever it was implemented
    • whose loyal followers are without a doubt the dumbest people on the planet
    • whose credentials are sketchy, including his birthplace
    So with this P.O.S. at the helm, you've got a nice little fantasy going there, CW! Say hi to all the little elves and unicorns for me, okay?

    We're at a critical moment in our history, brought on by the fantasies of Democrats dumber-than-dumb who were the force behind the subprime mortgage fiasco. We needed somebody who could give us hope, not someone who has caused people to pull their money out of the markets in fear of the coming calamity.
    One thing I really find incredible is that R's still blame D's for the woes of the world after they have held the executive branch for the last 8 years, and 20 of the last 28 and the legislative branch for 11 of the last 14! But IT COULD NEVER BE THE FAULT OF THE REPUBLICANS. Jesus Christ.
     

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