Thread: Onward

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  1. #1 Onward 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    My mind works like lightning. One flash and itís gone!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #2  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A man visiting a furniture factory fell into the upholstery machine.


    Heís fully recovered now.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #3  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest of them a bad name.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #4  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    They have just found the gene for shyness.

    They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #5  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The worst thing about holiday parties is having to spend the entire next day after looking for a new job.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #6  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If the Earthís human population held hands around the equator, a large portion would drown.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #7  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I weigh 220 pounds on Earth, but according to Scientific American, I would only weigh 83 pounds on Mars.

    Iím not fat, Iím just on the wrong planet.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #8  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #9  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I tried to donate my body to science but they rejected it.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #10  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Once youíve seen one shopping center, youíve seen a mall.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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