Thread: He & She

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  1. #1 He & She 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A Husband Texts His Wife

    A husband texts his wife after being involved in a severe accident. "Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Cathy brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head was very strong. It may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot."



    Wife's Response: Who is Cathy?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #2  
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    She: “Whatcha doing?”

    He: “Nothing."

    She: “But you did that yesterday."

    He: “I wasn’t finished."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #3  
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    A woman searches for something in the living room.

    After an hour of searching, she asks her husband; Have you seen my book?

    Which one?

    How to live to become 100 years old.

    Ah yes. Yesterday, i threw it away.

    But why?

    Your mother started reading it...
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #4  
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    He: “Waitress, there’s a fly in my alphabet soup!”

    She: “That’s no fly. That’s a spelling bee.”
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #5  
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    Mom: "What was the first thing you learned in class?"

    Son: "How to talk without moving my lops."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #6  
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    He: I'll bet you would go out with me if I were rich.

    She: Never

    He: I don't believe you.

    She: Tell you what, come back and see me when you're rich and I'll prove it.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #7  
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    She: Hello sweetheart. What did you do at work all day?

    He: Oh, nothing much.

    She: And that took all day?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #8  
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    She: You didn't get that job with the dummy corporation?

    He: Nope, they said I was over-qualified.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #9  
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    He: The TV remote control quit working!

    She: That's the garage door opener.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #10  
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    He - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.

    She - Well, you succeeded.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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