#1 A Good Parent's Dilemma: Is Spanking Bad?06-17-2008, 08:26 PM
A Good Parent's Dilemma: Is Spanking Bad?
Last year, the California Legislature considered criminalizing the spanking of toddlers. But at least half of parents, and according to some surveys as many as 94 percent, consider a swat on the bottom to be an appropriate form of discipline. "Spanking has worked very well for us," says Tim Holt, a 45-year-old insurance agent and the father of four children, ages 4 to 13, in Simpsonville, S.C., who notes that he and his wife spank very rarely. He recalls spanking his 7-year-old son, Scott, after Scott hit his brother in the head with a shoe and then lied to his father about it. "I pulled Scott aside. We discussed what he had done: Why is it wrong? What does God's law say? That we don't take our anger out on others." Then Holt put Scott over his knee and smacked him on his pants with a plastic glue stick. "It's something that gets his attention and provides a little bit of pain to his bottom."
Proponents include James Dobson, a psychologist and founder of Focus on the Family, who likens squeezing a child's shoulder or spanking his behind to discomfort that "works to shape behavior in the physical world." He writes in The New Dare to Discipline: "The minor pain that is associated with this deliberate misbehavior tends to inhibit it.... A boy or girl who knows love abounds at home will not resent a well-deserved spanking." But the subject generates more heat than just about any other child-rearing issue. Sweden banned spanking in 1979. The United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child has been seeking a ban on corporal punishment worldwide since 1996.
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06-17-2008, 08:34 PM
I am not opposed to spanking as it can immediately get the child's attention! Especially when the child is too young to process long and complicated terms, but is reaching for the hot stove!
That said, I have never been able to use spanking on my little one. She has had so many procedures done to her for which she could not receive anesthesia that she has an incredible pain tolerance. In her case however, not being the center of my world is devastating and a good time out in her room is very effective!I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
VeprGuest06-17-2008, 08:51 PM
Spanking can be effective. We don't have to use it that often because our kids know the threat of it is real. I think the problem for a lot of people is that they associate spanking with beating. A swat or two on the hinny is not a beating.
06-17-2008, 10:16 PM
06-17-2008, 10:48 PM
As most of you know, I have a 'vested' interest in this subject! :D
With 15 children, I say Bring on the spankings!!
I have sent 7 children out into this great big, cruel world, and not a one has gone on Oprah to complain about my abuse! That, and the fact that none of them have required therapy, tells me that I am doing well!!
I remember one of my psychology professors... a wonderful man!
While discussing the formation of a child's moral character, the subject of spanking came up.
He said that with regard to spanking, or any form of corporal punishment, there are 3 factors to take into account for effectiveness:
1) It must be relevent. Do not take the child away from the hot stove. They must SEE what it is that you are talking about when you say NO!
2) It must be immediate! Do not use the old "Wait til your father gets home." Especially with small children, they will have forgotten the offense long before the punishment is administered.
3) It must hurt. There must be a negative impact that goes along with the NO!
If all three of these conditions cannot be met, then forget the punishment, because that is when it becomes abusive. Mostly because, again, young children quickly forget the offense.
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06-17-2008, 10:49 PM
Of course, on the BDSM front, I say Bring on the spankings, too.....
But that is another story.....:D:DSocial Order at the expense of Liberty is hardly a bargain - Marquis de Sade
06-17-2008, 11:15 PM
A swat or three at the appropriate time and on the appropriate place can save many hours of repeated reprimands. When overused, it stops working.
I once knew a psychologist who had "progressive" ideas about raising her kids. Once she mentioned that her 18 month old daughter had started throwing temper tantrums. I told her that one of my kids did that a couple times, but responded quite well to a couple swats and a time-out each time. I think he stopped after 3 or 4 tries. She sniffed and informed me that she was handling it the correct way, by ignoring the behavior. She would never "reward" her child by responding to the tantrum.
The last time I saw her, that child was 8 or 9...and still throwing tantrums.-
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06-17-2008, 11:16 PM
Spanking worked for me and my brothers, it worked for my 3 kids and it will work for my grand kids.
We said spanking not beating, so dont go lib on me! :D
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