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  1. #41  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I like going to a steak restaurant and meating with friends.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #42  
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    Everyone in the Swiss army owns a Swiss army Knife.

    That's why nobody messes with Switzerland.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #43  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I was strolling the streets of Tokyo when I glimpsed Godzilla.

    As we passed, Godzilla jumped up and bit me on my knee.

    Celebrities are a lot shorter in person.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #44  
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    What does idk stand for?

    Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #45  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Kids, never make fun of having to teach your parents computer stuff.

    They taught you how to use a spoon and a fork.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #46  
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    A lady went into a hardware store and asked the clerk: “What’s the best thing to keep raccoons out of your garbage container?”

    The clerk answered: “A shotgun.”
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #47  
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    My daughter made a new fettuccine dish.

    But I think it's pasta it's prime.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #48  
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    You know all those people who say they found true happiness in their own backyard?

    All mine has is a backed up septic tank.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #49  
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    I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years."

    He said, "That's a mirror."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #50  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I understand that the circus is out of business.

    That’s too bad.

    The last time they were in town the excitement was in tents.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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