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  1. #11  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #12  
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    In order to make holy water simply boil the hell out of it.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #13  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A fellow downtown lost his dog last week.

    It was chasing an ambulance and got run over by a lawyer.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #14  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I have a very picky pup. He only chases classic cars.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #15  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I used to cruise around town with my driver’s license hanging from the rearview mirror.

    Then I was arrested for driving with a suspended license.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #16  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Maybe if we convince people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #17  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Have you noticed the emergence of the joint operations of gas stations and fast food?

    Gives whole new meanings to the phrase "eat and get gas."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #18  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A recent study revealed that rodents that run on the field at baseball games tend to have higher IQs than fans who run on the field.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #19  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    What is the second most often spoken phrase between old married couples?


    "Have you seen my ...."

    The most often phrase spoken is "I love you."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #20  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    When you get angry, count to 10.

    When you get to 8, throw a punch.

    Nobody ever expects that.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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